Reach for the light.

Here to show the way.

2012-02-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

One day, you're going to shine.

Every artist was first an amateur.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I guess we're all in our way into becoming who we're really supposed to be. :)

By now, we're supposed to know what we want to major in when we go into college.

What we want to work as in the future.

What we like, what we're good at, our talents & abilities.

But what if we don't know ?

& we're all suffering from this crisis that we don't know what we're good at.

Because no matter how good we think we are at something, we'll find someone who is simply better.

Some people will take that as a reason to try harder, to make what we're good at doing, even better.

To make sure, what we're doing is what we love & we love what we do.

But for some people, we take that as a reason to give it up because it's just not meant to be.

We have to look at things at a positive way. ;)

Sometimes we're not exactly good at things we love to do. But because we love doing it, we make it something we're good at.

You can't give up on something you love.

This isn't a relationship scene where you say, i'm letting you go for your happiness. ;o

So yes, give yourself a good enough reason to continue striving for what you love.

:D

& so if you don't love anything ?

Explore the world & find something you love. :)
You don't have to be discouraged because you feel like you're the only one in this world who doesn't have a passion or a purpose.

Keep believing that your life will be filled with adventure one day.

Oh, that's just me.

2012-02-01T17:35:00.002+08:00

It's already February !

I kinda hate how time is passing by so past. :(

& what's about to happen in the mere future is kind of scaring me.

But i guess i just have to trust in God & know that His ways are always good.

No promises that things are going to be easy, but God will never leave us when we need Him most.

:')

I'm just hoping that things start off smoothly though.

But whatever it is,

i should be thankful that i'm still here.

Happy February, everyone.

I guess. I'm okay.

2012-01-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

& I went to Bangkok with my family from the 22nd to the 26th of January. :D
It was really fun !
Stayed in Baiyoke Suite Hotel, Bangkok for all four nights.

& er, i guess the hotel was okay.

~~not a place i'd recommend though, or you can go for the Executive suites instead of the standard ones ( which was the one we took )~~

& we did a lot of fun stuff. :D
One of them was going to the Safari, I TOUCHED A TIGER.

LOOK LOOK. * points above.

Heh. :)
& we went for the Calypso cabaret show, which was erm, an eye opener.

But i guess if you were a guy, you'd be quite grossed out.

One thing i loved the most.

SHOPPING. :D

Things there are super cheap !
I showed sooooooo much, literally finishing my angpau money there.

But yes, Bangkok is certainly a place i recommend.

So go go go ! ;)

Big hugs.

2012-01-29T18:41:00.001+08:00

Love them girls. :)

Hello !
Just here to blog a little about my CNY holidays.

Spent my first day spending time with these lovely ladies.

We had Korean food for lunch.

It was really fun, just ended up taking A LOT of pictures, haha.

Am too lazy to post it all here.

But school is starting again tomorrow,

& i guess these are the people that will be the reason

i smile & laugh & actually enjoy being at school.

Much love ;)

Every step counts.

2012-01-20T22:35:00.003+08:00

With everything we go through in life,

there comes a time when we're just walking on this earth.

Trying as hard as we can so stay alive,

dragging our feet basically through everything.

It's hard.

Because we're trying so hard but no one appreciates it.

& the only thing we can do, is actually to keep trying & trying & trying.

& at some point, you get tired.

It is something we all go through.

Often a process we go through way too much.

But i give you credit. :D
Because you tried.

You held onto the little bits of hope when you're about to give up.

You tried, & you should be proud because you did.

It's not the easiest task to stay strong.

& you should give yourself a little motivation.

Tell yourself that no matter how tiring it gets, you should push on.

Because if you never try, you'd never know.

& yes, one day. You'd get tired.

People don't seem to notice.

& people don't seem to care.

But you need yourself most right now.

You tried, & that's all that matters.

Cling onto the reason you've been holding on for so long.

Cling onto the bits of hope you've got.

Trying counts & you shouldn't give up.

Not on what you've been pursuing on for so long, not on your dreams & definitely not on yourself.

So don't you dare stop trying.
& don't you dare give up.
(:

Stop staring.

2012-01-15T18:09:00.003+08:00

Make me smile, so effortlessly.

Because by your side, i won't be afraid.

HELLO. :D

Just realized how ugly my blog looks like in Windows xP & it's making me sad. :(

' MUM, I'M FACING A TEENAGE CRISIS HERE. '

- Candace, Phineas & Ferb.

I'm just being random, hehe.

The first two weeks of school went pretty well.

I'm happy because my stress level is still stable, & er,

i'm just hoping i don't go mad or lose my sanity by the end of the year.

I think things would be better if i'd just :

- Stop freaking out over every little thing.

- Bring my books to school & pay attention in class :O

- Stop comparing my life & expecting it to be perfect.

^_^

Oh, wells.

Dear imaginary boyf, i'm missing you ; xx.

You meant this much.

2012-01-13T18:31:00.004+08:00

I've always regretted. Being stupid enough to trust me.

& i hate you, to the cores.

I'm annoyed at the thoughts of you.

& it hurts every single time i think back about it.

I try to move on.

Telling everyone that it wasn't even a thing to begin with.

That there weren't any feelings.

But there was , trust.

I trusted you. A little bit too much.

& now i know what a big mistake i've made to ever go near you.

I hate myself for doing this.

But the thing is,

it's not so much of forgiving you.

But forgiving myself.

& i need a fresh start.

So i shall leave you behind, leave this past behind.

Look towards heaven & keep moving forward. ;)

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3 : 12 - 16

So we're spinning.

2012-01-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

In opposite directions.

Happy New Year, everybody ! :D

This year has started off great & i am thankful.

Am really hoping things go well as it will be a hugeee year for me !

So, everything is now in the hands of God.

I shall have faith & trust in His ways.

Much love, xx.

& make it last

2011-12-28T12:41:00.001+08:00

No regrets. :)

Hehe, HAI !
Blogging like a maniac, wheeeee. :D

So so so.

My previous post was about this year's revolution. This post shall be about next year's revolution !
End the year well, end it with God.

Start the new year well, start it with God.

I guess everyone's going to make lists of things they would want to achieve in the new year, or you know, stuff like that. Say they'll change, & you know, stuff like that.

But people, people, people. Remember, you're not proving anything to anyone.

You're proving something to yourself !

& by the end of the year & you're exactly the same, you're just giving people a reason to look down on you.

Just saying, bro. :)

So with all my heart, i'll try, with all my strength, to achieve what i have in mind. :D

To have faith that will bring people hope.

Yes, yes. Off course other stuff like, score well in SPM & all the other stuff.

But i also want my life, to be a life that's focused on God.

To God be all glory. :)

So when you look back.

2011-12-28T12:41:00.000+08:00

You can say you've done a good job.

Hello ! :D

So everyone is talking about New Years. & yes, it's just around the corner.

Just when i'm starting to really like this year, it's coming to an end. :(

I gotta say, this year wasn't easy.

A super duper roller coaster. & it wasn't easy to be alive at some point.

But when i think back, they're merely memories.

Nothing i can do to change anything.

But it was a wonderful experience. :)

So, i shall talk post about my New Year Revolution, & whether or not i've achieved anything. Nyoooooohoo.

1. Be a nice person.

I gotta admit that i'm not a nice person most of the time. But i tried, like really hard. :O & i can be really nice at times, okay. ( totally defending myself here :B ) I guess it's more of what people think of me. & no, i don't want to go around asking people whether i'm nice or not as a research to complete this post. :P

So i shall be humble & say it's not achieved. But okay, i give myself credit for trying. :3

2. Be an inspiration to others.

Hmmm, for this. I guess it's also based on other people's opinion. But i remember seeing someone comment on my post saying ' This is so inspiring. ' SO YAY. :P

But whether it's achieved or not, i don't know. So i shall list this as, unknown.

( Haha, i'm so full of poop here. Making myself feel better by saying unknown & giving myself credit so that i won't feel like an absolute failure by the end of this post. ) :P

3. No slacking in Form 4.

Eh, i got top 10 in class for finals okay.

So, achieved ! :D

4. Be happy in Form 4.

Haha, i don't even know why i wrote this down. But i guess this year has been really hectic, it'll be kind of insane to be happy 24/7 :O So yea, not achieved. :/

5. Be more positive.

I give myself credit, okay. I learned something throughout the year, to be positive even though things aren't going well is having faith in God that things will end up okay. & yea, truly with God's strength, i managed to stay positive ~~or at least managed to stay alive~~ at my lowest points of life. So yea, credits to God ! :D

6. Be less sensitive & more understanding.

Okay, er. I didn't go around gossiping about people & judging them & criticizing them for every little thing they do, i try to put myself in their shoes, so i guess that's being understanding ? :B & er, yes, i'm definitely more insensitive ( in a good way, LOL. ) - i don't hold grudges. Well, not a lot anyway. :/

So er, achieved ?

7. Do homework.

HAHA, I'M SUCH A GOOD GIRL OKAY. I do my homework. :) Achieved ! oh, i'm so proud of myself xD

8. Do not hate teachers.

Let's see, i'm not exactly fond of some teachers. But i don't hate them - not really, anyway. So, achieved ! :)

9. Be more forgiving.

Lol, not achieved.

Enough said ._.

10. To grow in God.

Wheeeeeee, not to boast here but i'm going to say i achieved this. :D Not saying i'm so holy i can be a pastor now kind of thing. But i know i grew, although it doesn't seem like it. But i know God has touched me a lot throughout this year. & now, i trust Him much much more. So yes, proud to say that this is achieved. :) I hope God is proud of me too :B

Bayuu. bayuu.

2011-12-26T16:03:00.005+08:00

Hello !
I'm here to blog about Nst Camp 2011. :D I know, i'm kind of late, but hey. Better late than never, right right ?
I shall summarize this camp with : It was awesome ! Missing camp now :O

& yes, indeed, i had a good time. :D
Was paired up with nine fellow Nst-ians. Including, Victor, our team leader, MY Nicole, Colette, XianHui, Emmeline, Alvin, Emmanuel, Adrian, Jayson & myself as assistant group leader.

I had fun in my group :) Although i had this *eherrrm, quite annoying group member that was killing me most of the time, & i would get really really frustrated sometimes, but i had fun. :D
& we were group Iota. ;)

One of the first challenges, i think. Building a creative sand-castle.
& yes, that was our utmost creative castle, the Iota Castle.

Group pictures taken on the last day. :D
& guess what ? GUESS GUESS GUESS. Just make a wild guess. :P
MY GROUP WON, HAHA. In your faceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
We basically won a lot of junk food ~~& dignity~~ but yay !

& this is MY NICOLE. Being the sweetest thing ever. She was in my group, & she was dealing with all my frustration & was always there for me when i was going to blow. Ngaw, i love her so much :)

& look, sand shoes ! * points at picture. 8D

Poser sia :P

My brother was the official camp photographer, haha.

So i would make him take pictures of me.

explains the picture above. xD

& in one of the activities, we had to make choices that would either lead us to heaven or hell.

& i ended up going to hell. :(

I was really disappointed at myself. Really, really disappointed.

But i know God was telling me : ' It's okay, what you did in the past that will lead you to hell. As long as you, now, rededicated your life to God, you'll receive a second chance. '

& once again, God's grace truly amazes me.

I still feel unworthy until like, now, but i'm just glad that my God, is a gracious God. :')

But life can be so hectic sometimes, we get distracted & we leave God. - It's not healthy to leave God.

So every once in a while, we just have to rededicate our lives to God. To remind ourselves that He is important, & we need Him in life.

So lesson learnt, to always keep my eyes on the cross !

Pastor Andy & Pastor Daniel were the speakers for this camp.
& this camp basically talks about the second coming of Jesus Christ. - which is, soon to be. :O
& we as Christians will have to face a lot.
Persecutions, natural disasters, wars.
Everything that's going on in the world now are actually signs of the second coming of Jesus Christ.

So we really have to prepare ourselves. Stand firm in the name of God ! To be on guard.
& once again, to keep our eyes upon the cross.
It might be hard, but it'll be worth it. :)

DENISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :) Haha, had fun with her this camp.
Serious times in the morning with games & activities & focusing on God.
Story time at night with the girls. Haha.
Off course we'd sometimes do devotion together first. :x

My girls. :)

They're the reason why i miss camp every single year.

I really like being with them.

They're always the fun that makes me smile & laugh.

HAHA, FLABBLE. :D

Denise, Emily, Nicole. & Carmen who is not in this picture. :(

& look at the tee-shirts, so the nice, right ? :3

Carmen & Shaun photobombed us. :P

But they're both really nice. :)

This is the last night of camp, i think.
Partying in the room, haha.
But it was so much fun !
The last night was so fun :)

CAMWHORE TIME.
A big thank you to Nicole for letting me use her iPhone to take pictures. :P

Benjy ! Ikr, ikr. We look so cute, haha.

Josh being a lizard, lol.

& Jayson, we were in the same group. :D He can be so weird at times. HAHA.

So i'm really blessed by this camp. :) & although i'm really tired from all the travelling & my mood was constantly changing throughout camp. I had a lot of fun. & well, God really worked in me.
I'm really hoping i keep these things in mind & off course, change for the better. :)

All glory goes to God.

Merry Christmas. :D

2011-12-25T01:49:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas !

Have a blessed Christmas, everyone. :D
& just be grateful for what we've been through this year.
It might not have been the best, but it could have been worst.
All glory goes to God !

& remember, For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son. & for those who believe in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

God gave his Son to us out of love. & with the same spirit, we should give to the people whom we love. :)
So here's a present - a virtual hug. Haha.

Much love, God bless.
Blessed Christmas 2011.

A colourful Christmas :)

2011-12-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

This is how i did my Christmas countdown. :D

With Benjy ! Haha.

I'm so happy this Christmas turned out to be so nice, compared to last year's. Althou it's not much, i'm grateful. :D

But still worth dying for.

2011-12-17T16:59:00.000+08:00

Because we're all a little damaged inside.

Sometimes in life, we're just feeling miserable.

Feeling intimidated by the classy, sociable people around you.

Feeling a little more than just imperfect.

Feeling much worst than you're supposed to, just because you're not good enough.

We're all tired of being compared to.

We're all tired of people judging us & telling us what to do.

We're all tired of feeling absolutely worthless at times.

It's true we build walls & shields.

Trying to defend ourselves by saying we are loved, & this is who we are, whether people like it or not.

But it still hurts inside.

Because we just can't be accepted by people this way.

But sometimes it's worse.

It's not what people think. But what you think of yourself.

Always comparing your pictures to another girl's & feeling ugly.

Comparing your results & feeling stupid.

Comparing your talents & feeling unworthy.

It's how we can't achieve our own standards that are disappointing, that are upsetting.

It brings us down, simply because we can't be the person we wished to be.

That is when you collapse. Feeling utterly & completely useless, worthless.

That you've let yourself down & you just don't want to try again, because you don't want to disappoint yourself.

You know it hurts & you know you can't just stop caring about what you feel.

Because all these emotions will be too much & once again you'll burst out crying at how disappointed you are with your life, your being.

& let me tell you that, you have to lift yourself up.

How is anyone going to look up to you, when you can't even look up to yourself ?

It's hard because you've got no support.

But this is the first step - to love yourself.

Whether or not you're perfect, whether or not people like you, whether or not you'll fall again.

You just need to love yourself.

Believe in yourself.

You need to know that even if no one loves you, at least you love being you.

It's your life, learn to love it.

Do what you love & love what you do. But first things first, love yourself & just be you.

God has plans for you, don't give up.

Just one stop.

2011-12-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

When faced with a challenge, it is always wise to ask for God's help, prepare to the best of your ability, give your most worthy effort ... & then give yourself a break ! Nobody gets everything right every time; perfection belongs to God alone.

As difficult as it may be to accept, we all fail sometimes, even when we try hard to do well. The good news is that most people learn more from their failures than from their successes, & failures can create greater empathy & sensitivity to others. When you fail to forgive yourself for errors of human frailty, you disregard God's instruction to love yourself ' just as you are ' & frustrate your own path to happiness.

To forgive yourself is the greatest gift of all.

If i really wanted to be happy, i would ..

So the melody stops.

2011-12-17T15:38:00.000+08:00

& reality hits in.

Hello ! :)
Just a short post to tell ya'll know that i'm back from Vietnam !
Not like anyone cares, but okay.

Overall it was a great trip. :D
But because it was winter there & all they're selling are winter clothing, i didn't get to buy much.

Eh, telling the truth here, okay >:

But all in all, thank God we had a safe trip & it's back to life now.

xx, :)

You feel it ?

2011-12-08T15:58:00.001+08:00

Went to Sabah from the 2th to the 6th of December to attend a conference, a team of 32 from SIBKL. Conference Exist to Transform 2011 :) It was actually a mission trip to reach out to the people from Kampung Tunas Baru & our main focus was to go there to encourage the people to raise up & be leaders. :D

I'm glad to say we achieved our main focus. With God's power, off course. Am just going to blog about our journey. :)

By the time we reached Sabah, it was already noon. & already we faced the devil's evil plans >: Rudy, one of the members from our team lost his luggage in the airport. ( i gotta say that Air Asia is no good ) But thank God we managed to find his bag. :) We went for lunch & then headed to the kampung - which is Kampung Tunas Baru. It took us around 3 to 4 hours from Kota Kinabalu to actually reach. :O There were 6 of us in my van, the van with the youngest members. :) & i need to admit that the ride wasn't really comfortable & it got dark pretty fast, around 6 it was already really really dark. D:

So while we were happily in the van, our van suddenly punctured. We were in the middle of no where & it was so dark ! But i guess God gave us His calmness because none of us were actually scared. & we saw fire flies ! Hehe. :)

After fixing the tyre, we continued with our journey. :D

This picture was taken when we were having lunch before we headed of to Kampung Tunas Baru :D

By the time we reached, it was almost 9pm. We were welcomed with some of their people in one straight line to shake their hands & a gong to make some music. Haha. After shaking hands with all of them & being officially welcomed into the kampung with a few short speeches, we had our dinner - they provided super nice food okay ! & they had to cook for around 500 people for the conference, thumbs up for them ! We washed up - the bathrooms weren't like, proper toilets, so we had to shower with cold water ( which was not at all flattering ) but still, we should be thankful because it wasn't anything worst. :D

Had our debrief section & called it a night. By the time we went to bed, it was already around 1am plus.

These little children helped us carry our luggage into our little room upstairs. They're super strong okay !

3rd - So after washing up, we had breakfast ! Which were noodles :)
We had to train around 60 + leaders from the kampung. Most of them were teenagers, & it was comforting to see them have such a strong passion for God.
& these leaders were to help our team from KL to run the whole conference. - during the workshops & xp ( experiential learning ), these leaders were paired up with us to run a group of participants who signed up for the conference. :D

These were some of the games we played. :) Off course, they came with meanings behind them.

Started this training section with some games. Then we proceeded to our workshops & xp - to show them what we'll be doing & to teach them how they are to lead a group.

So after the whole afternoon of training the leaders. We had a while to rest & to chill before dinner. & before the official starting of the Exist to Transform Conference. :D

We started the night with a concert. The team from KL wore BLUE, hehe. They had performances & speeches. & then the worship done by the KL worship team. We sang all BM songs & danced & really worshiped with all our heart. The people there has such a big passion & they loveeeee to worship & to dance ! It was an eye opener to see them. ;) Something you wouldn't see among the crowd in KL, haha.

After worship. Ps. Daniel did his sermon. It's really a passage to reach out to the people to raise up & take leadership over their land. :D
So a lot of people responded to the altar call & we started ministering. The ministering part was truly amazing because you could feel God & the Holy Spirit really working in the people. There were people crying, speaking in tongues & some were slayed.
To see them being touched by God's presence, it was heart - warming. To witness such great works - amazing. :)

The blur night ends. :)

After the altar call. We had yet another section of worship ! Hehe :)
So after the party - okay, i mean after the first night of worship. We went for supper, did some washing up & debriefed for that day. We ended up sleeping at midnight too. Super tiring ! But all worth it :D & with God' strength, we managed to survive for the rest of the trip, haha.

4th - Woke up at 6, washed up & ate breakfast. Then begins the first day of the conference. :) It was a purple morning ! :D

Ambil gambar dgn abang saya. Pakai baju unggur, syoknye. :P

Everyone was grouped up. I didn't know how many groups we had in total. But i had a group of 12 girls of under 16 year olds, off course with the help of my two helpers. :D - which were two girls from the 60+ leaders that were trained the previous day, which were Patricia & Mevlynna. My team name was Mickey Mouse ! Bahaha, & it was really great to be able to work with them. They were all really good & friendly & pretty too ! :3

Some of the people there which are super kind & friendly. :)

So after the grouping, we started our Sunday service - performance, worship & sermon which was also done by Ps. Dan. :) Then we had a short break & begun with our workshops !
The first workshop taught us creative evangelism & also, how to write a one minute testimony. :D The session went really well & i guess we had an emotional yet great time sharing our testimonies.
As for me, sharing my testimony took my some gut because it was quite personal. But i was glad it did it :') & then we had lunch. ! & begun our xp. :)

This was the xp ! Thank God because it didn't rain while these xps were on. Because it has been raining for the past few days. So we were praying really hard that the weather would turn out fine, & thank God it did ! Look at the sky, beautiful. :)
So, this was xp 1 - Landmines. Everyone was in pairs, one blindfolded, & one not. So they were standing opposite of each other, & in between them were obstacles such as chairs & newspapers. So the one who could see were to give instructions to their blindfolded partner to go across the field safely. :D
It was hard because everyone was shouting & some of us were there to give wrong instructions so that they wouldn't be able to finish the task, bahaha. :B
So the debrief point was " To be able to listen to God's voice, we had to recognize His voice. "
The partner's voice in the game represented God's voice. & the only way to make it across the field, was to listen to His voice, to be able to listen to His voice, we have to recognize His voice.
Tada. :D

After the whole day. We had time to go mandi sungai ! :D Yes, yes, bathing in the river. Swimming, playing, sliding with the current. It was super fun, haha. :)
We then had dinner, & began our second concert ! Woohoo. :D

One of the dishes that were prepared for us. So nice kan. :P
So that night, Uncle Michael shared about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. :D
& a lot of people also responded to the altar call & once again, we did our duties to go minister, hehe.
I was really happy because both of my leaders from my group went out to be prayed for.
So i followed Mei Lee, one of the more experienced KL member to go minister ( because i wasn't experienced enough to minister one to one, hehe. ) to pray over my leader. & i could really feel God touching her, & it was amazing ! Seeing her respond to the message, & at the end she got slayed. Really really wonderful to see her grow in God in such a way :)

So we had another session of worship. Supper, wash up, had debrief & called it a night.

5th - It was a red morning. :D Haha. The process of the day was about the same. Except that we had devotion in the morning & we shared about Salvation. Noelle helped out in my group & we shared on John 3 : 16 . Noelle also shared her personal testimony, she got really emotional & also cried. :( But i guess her testimony really touched the girls' hearts, which was good. :') Then we gave them each a set of devotional books & they were so happy to get it. & i was so happy to see them so happy :3

Then worship as usual, & this time, Noelle did morning service. & it was really good. :) Also, altar call. & this time, my other leader responded & although she was really reluctant & resistant at first, the Holy Spirit managed to touch her heart & she was slayed. I'm so proud of her :)
Both my leaders made me really proud, haha.
We then proceeded to the second workshop, which talked about starting a cell group. What it is, the benefits, the process & so on. It was to encourage them to be leaders among their group of friends to fellowship & to focus on God la. & i'm glad there were a few people who were passionate to start a cell group by themselves. :D Good, good.

Using tape to prepare the xp 2 with Miranda. :D

Then we had lunch & went for the xp 2. Which was mission impossible. All the group members were tied together, & four people among the group were blind folded. One person had to hold a balloon & each of them were to hold lighted candles. Yes, candles ! Then they had to go through a bunch of obstacles, such as climbing through a small tunnel, climbing up chairs, crossing a fake river & etc. It wasn't easy la, but the leaders helped out to make sure they made it across safely & nothing was burnt. Thank God for the safe process. :) So the lesson behind this xp was to put others before yourself. Because to finish the course with everyone tied together was quite burdensome. But the lesson was to work hand in hand & to be humble & to complete the task together. :)

The two days we had the workshops & xps. A group of 9 people from our KL team also had to go do a separate program for the children. We believe that God really wants us to reach out to the children there too. They were so cute & so kind. :) & they're also the next generation, right ?
There were about 100 children, & their programs also turned out really good. * thumbs up.

Then thank God for the wonderful weather, again ! So we went to mandi sungai lagi. :D

This was us washing each others' hairs in the river. Haha, so pro kan. :P

Bathing in the river was one of the best things in this trip. It was super fun okay. :) But we always end up dirty again. Because we all dance & jump so much during the concerts at night & we sweat & we just have to bathe in ice cold water again. Haha, but it was fun oh fun. :D

It was green night ! :D So Pastor Daniel closed for the night. & at the end, as he opened the altar, he asked if anyone wanted to be leaders - as they were the next generation. & truly to exist to transform their land. Because the team from KL would be there just for five days. It was up to them to rise up & to lead their people. So a lot of people responded to the altar call. & people were really touched ! It was amazing because this was the night most people responded. & there were even volunteers to want to serve God full time in the church. & again, they were touched by the Holy Spirit. Crying, speaking in tongues, being slayed. It was all very wonderful. :') God just doesn't stop working in them.

So yet again, we started worship & danced like crazy ! Hahaha.

Kukan terbaaaaang, twinggi di aaaaaan. BersamaMu, dalam kemuliaan. :D

zee aeroplane song, hehe.

Then we had our photo session, because it was the last night. & the people went around asking for autographs & numbers & emails from the team from KL. & the girls there hor, super passionate wan. They super brave to go up to all the guys. So all the guys were surrounded by girls. But the girls ah.. just sit there and wait only -_- sosadright.

But it's okay ! We had a lot of fun in the photo session. :)

Dancing so much on the last night ! :D

So after the wonderful concert. We all shook hands with them & some people got emotional because they're super thankful to have us there. & personally, i was really grateful to be there myself. :)
So we had supper & went to clean up. Then at night, i chit chatted with Miranda until around 4.30. We got tired & finally called it a night.

6th - Woke up around 9 - the only day we get so wake up so late, haha.

After having breakfast, we went into the church, said our last goodbyes & had yet another photoshoot. Then they once again shook hands with us & waited until we went on the vans & headed back to KK.

You could tell that they were really grateful to have us here. & their passion really touched our hearts. :)

As for me, i'm just thankful to be able to be a part of all these amazingness, haha. It was really great to experience God working. & i'll pray hard that the people will continue having strong, passionate hearts for God. :')

We then went on with our 3 hours ride in a van ( at least this was a better van. ) & went to KK. :) The scenery on the way was beautiful. & the wind, awh, felt like the beach. :)

We had lunch. I had non-spicy laksa, how cool was that ? & then we went to the airport early. We had KFC for dinner ( which we sneaked into the plane, hehe ) & also had Sabah bubble tea ! Woohoo. They had mini pearls. Which are half the size of normal pearls - quite amazing. :D

All in all, i'm really thankful to have gone for this trip. Although at the beginning i had some doubts of my inabilities to lead a group all by myself. But with the strength of God & with faith - i made it ! So it was a really good experience for myself.To minister & to be a leader for the first time. & my faith really grew. :3 So i hope this doesn't stop soon, but i'll continue serving God & doing his work, xx.

God's grace. :)

2011-12-07T15:45:00.001+08:00

Your unconditional love.

Hello ! :)
Just here to tell you all that i am back from my mission trip at Sabah. :D
& i've got to say that it was GREAT !
Seeing God worked in so many ways.

Am truly touched. ;)

Will blog about it more. With much more details. Testimonies & stories. :D
( ah, such a good blogger :P )

As soon as our official photographer, David Choong uploads the 3000+ pictures he took from the mission trip.

I wouldn't want to bore all my readers with my writing.

So yes, i'll be waiting for the pictures to spice it all up.

Even tho, without a doubt, God's grace has already spiced everything up. :D

I'm just really happy that i went.

It was really really amazing. A wonderful experience.

& i'm sure i wouldn't forget any of this. :)
My first mission trip, okayy ! Heeeeehee.

Am just really happy to see God work in so many ways.

& really, His works are amazinnnnnnnng.

Seriously indescribable. But i'll mention more about what He has done in this mission trip later.

Till then, God bless. ;)

All the tears you hold back.

2011-11-30T18:27:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bPSevAmdA8&feature=related

This man is really inspiring ! :D
If you have time, do watch it.

You go home & lay on your bed, when no one's looking at you & you don't have to impress anyone - you're yourself.

We'll make it far.

2011-11-29T15:36:00.001+08:00

But no promises.

If you're feeling overloaded, take your burden to God & confess that you've been hanging on to it. Then drop it in His hands & run ! Don't stick around to pull it back out of the hands of the great burden lifter.

Then let Him lead you as you make decisions about ministries with which you're over involved, family problems that someone else needs to handle, or commitments you may not need to take on.

Pledge yourself to obedience, & walk in your new freedom. Don't let that old burden trap you again.

We're often heavy with burden. & it's tiresome - we all know that. It's bringing us down, bringing us close to tears time to time. & at times, we do release & surrender it to God. But later on, the same old burden comes back, or sometimes, something else comes along to bring us down.

The sentence " then drop it in His hands & run ! Don't stick around to pull it back .. " So you ask, why would anyone pull it back ? I asked myself that question the first time i read that. But it's actually true. Sometimes, after a while of releasing the burden to God, our mind starts to ponder & wonder again - without even us realizing. & once again, we're hooked with that issue. It's not easy to fully surrender something to God - even a problem. Sometimes, we just don't trust God enough, you know ? It's true we release it to God at first, but sooner or later, we start doubting & worrying again.

& that's no good, it shows you don't trust God, & you're just burdening yourself.

How do you stop, then ? It's easy - well, not as easy as said. But just stop thinking about it. Focus on God & his other plans for you :D Even if things don't work out, remember. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be ;)
Have faith, in God.

Baby you'll see.

2011-11-29T15:05:00.000+08:00

Because it's all simply too hard to handle.

Hello ! :)

Just here to sum of what i've done for the first two weeks of my holidays. :D

Went out almost every day. & sorry, i'm not a hardworking blogger.

Didn't take a lot of pictures. :P

Went to Mid Valley on Monday to walk around, stayed at home on Tuesday, went to KL - Pavilion, Fahrenheit 88, Lot 10, Sungei Wang on Wednesday, Tropicana Mall on Thursday & went to Ying Heng's house on Friday :D Although i went out almost every day, i only watched one movie.

ikr, weird.

Off course i watched movies on my laptop & stuff.

But going to the theater, only once :O

Movies i want to watch - You are the apple of my eyes, Puss in boots, Arthur Christmas, & Breaking Dawn. Wheeeeeeeee. :)

Will be going to Sabah on the 2nd, which is this Friday, which is three days from now ?

* i thought today was Wednesday, fail to the max. I even wore pink thinking i could go to Baskin Robins. Boo -_-

AND YES, I am very excited ! But i suppose i'm also quite unprepared.

But it's all in God's hands, so i shall just trust Him.

& all's good. ;)

My lovelies. :)

2011-11-26T21:29:00.001+08:00

So this would be a picture blog ! About my day yesterday. :D Gosh, i miss them so much.

Went to Ying Heng's house on Friday & we had so much fun.

It was just the three of us meeting up to express & feel some love.

We didn't do much. Basically, talk, eat & took a lot of pictures ;)

That's all i'm going to post, bahaha. We took around 120 + pictures ? I just had fun :)

What He has done.

2011-11-18T22:55:00.001+08:00

For i am convinced that neither life not death, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers. neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Roman 8 : 38 - 39

His love is indescribable. :')

2011-11-18T17:07:00.000+08:00

Don't show emotion, just let his go.

Why do you cry when you're falling asleep ?

& girl, how can you love without you ever losing it all.

Don't put your faith in this, when you won't believe it.

Nevertheless, it's tiring to keep trying.

To hold on to this little hope that i still have.

But the things you say.

Day by day they're killing me, from the inside out.

That's why i'm choosing to escape this - escape it all.

I'm begging you, stop pulling me back, again & again.

Like we had a clue.

2011-11-15T21:03:00.001+08:00

We'd get matching tattoos.

At this point. I'm sure i should be happy.

Finals is over. All my friendships are perfectly fine. I'm having a good time.

Other than having to go to tuition, things are pretty good.

But i hate how i'm so emotionally unstable.

That i have crazy mood swings.

& there are these little things that drives me crazy.

& i get frustrated so easily.

I hate how i'm trying to be so spontaneous but nobody wants to be spontaneous with me.

& i end up being disappointed because things don't go my way.

I hate how one minute i'm happy, the second minute someone pisses me off. The third minute i scold or be mean to that person. The fourth minute i feel guilty about being mean. & the fifth minute trying to reason with myself about whether it's not my fault or i should just apologize for being mean. & the sixth minute being arrogant & not apologizing anyway.

I hate how there's something bringing me down but i just don't know what it is.

I hate how i can't let go off my feelings.

I hate how i tend to get disappointed over & over again.

So lesson learnt. Just go with the flow, okay.

Nothing ever goes according to plan anyway.

Make me your reason.

2011-11-15T20:18:00.001+08:00

Hello, hello. :)
Just here to blog about what i've done yesterday, whee.

Went to Nicole's around 12.

& joined Jean, Nicole & Aunty Tina for lunch. Dim sum, yum yum. :D
She then dropped us at Plaza Damas for us to walk about.

We just did some window shopping.

They didn't have much nice clothes & everything was really pricey.

So we had fun in Toys R Us instead ! Mahaha. :D

Were walking around & found some extremely cute soft toys.
So it's a must for camwhoring.
Haha !
Was trying to hide from the workers to avoid being scolded.
But it was really fun. :)
Then we had starbucks & bubble tea.
Hehehe.

& apparently, we also got ourselves super cheap quality butterfly tattoos. :D
This is Nicole's tattoo.
Mine is at my hip, lol. Too revealing to have a picture in my blog.
& they all faded after a few minutes.
& we're left with crappy tattoos.
Boohoo. :(

But i had fun !
So i'm a happy happy person. :)

One minute testimony.

2011-11-15T18:16:00.000+08:00

I know. I'm not the best Christian ever. In fact, sometimes. I'm such a horrible person & i'm such a disgrace to my faith.
I'm being honest here okay.
Being human isn't easy - i'm sure everybody knows that.
But being judged because i'm a Christian kind of hurts too.

Nobody's perfect. But sometimes, people point fingers at Christians & expect them to be goody-two-shoes & be the perfect people.
I feel guilty when i've done something bad. I have a conscience too.
But sometimes, most of the time. I don't solve problems or face every issue with the wisest choices ever.

& i'm sorry if i've done any wrong to you in any way.
But please bare with me.
I really am, trying.

One minute testimony.
I became a Christian when I was 7. I did not make that decision by myself but I just followed my parents to my church at that time. But if I were to given the choice now, I'd still choose to be a Christian :D

Christianity isn't just my faith. Its not just a religion but my journey with God. & I choose to believe simply because Jesus said ' I am the way & the truth & the life .. ' ( John 14:6 ) no other religion or gods once said that they were the truth.

It is His grace that has lifted me up, time after time. It was His love & strength that has made me who I am today. I might not be perfect, but He has become my reason to be a better person. He's my only hope, His presence brings security & peace.

I'm not sharing this because I have to. In fact, it isn't easy to explain this relationship with words. He brings comfort nothing else can. Gives me hope always provides a way. & I'm telling you because I want you to feel what I've felt. People could & would let you down. But I want you to know that God will never disappoint you. His grace is indescribable - something you've to feel yourself to fully understand.

Would you like this sense of peace. This person to rely on, this comforter & friend. this source of hope & grace ?

Stop. & start to panic.

2011-11-13T18:33:00.001+08:00

Be my knight in shining armor, my hero, my prince, my everything.

Hello everybody !
Just here to blog about my upcoming events.

I need to. Like, i really need to fill my November with super fun activities before Spm.

I want to make this month the most fun & interesting month of this year.

& off course, go past every day with no regrets.

There's this desire mainly because i want to have fun before i stress out for Spm.

Also because my December is already jam-packed with activities. :)

First, i have my mission trip to Sabah. :D

Secondly, i'll be going on a holiday ! Vietnam. ;)

& lastly, church camp ! Wheee.

So, about my Sabah mission trip.

I'm honestly quite nervous. Because well, we're supposed to converse in BM most of the time.

& tell you the truth, i am not at all fluent in this language.

So i've been trying to buckle up. & i need to improve !

I also have a lot to prepare for this trip & i gotta say sometimes i get worried.

But i have faith that with the strength of God, things will just turn out fine. :D
Better than just fine, in fact.

& here's a little promoting for my church camp. :D
I'll upload a picture of the banner soon.

But for those who are interested, here's a little bit of info.

It'll be on the 19th to the 22nd of December, in Port Dickson.
It's Rm 200 for everything.

for more information, please contact me !
& i promise, it'll be fun !

Silently screaming.

2011-11-09T22:36:00.000+08:00

“ When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think that for something so important, it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a symbol or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. ”

- Cecelia Ahern ; If you could see me now.

2011-11-08T19:01:00.000+08:00

Unrealistic matters.

We've been walking on this earth so long - well for me, 16 years.

But long enough to experience pain, unhappiness, failure, doubt, mistrust & everything else negative.

Even at such a young age, we go through so much changes - it's killing us.

Being a teenager isn't the easiest thing ever.

Somehow our hormones are making us feel much more than we want to.

We're so filled with emotions we do not need or even want.

& all these thoughts, motions, movements & changes are too much for us to cope with.

Too hard to handle.

& almost impossible to control.

Later on, we start feeling numb to our own feelings.

So much has happened in such a short time - being too overwhelmed with emotion,

it drives us nuts.

We end up being so vain & so insane.

& in the process of trying to find our true selves, we actually lose ourselves.

& some of us stop trying. Trying to impress people, trying to be perfect, trying to stay alive.

We stop caring about what matters, we stop caring about what people think, what's right or wrong.

We do what we want to.

& believing that this world isn't fair, that the things we do won't even matter anymore - simply because justice will not be served. & that's why some of us end up being hardcore rebels.

We're never at fault. We just blame everyone else for our wrong doings.

We're all so tired of being judged. Not given second chances. Mistreated & abused.

Look beyond this happy appearance, it's all bruised and scarred.

But let me tell you one thing, this is society's fault.

Nostalgia .

2011-11-07T20:02:00.001+08:00

I hope you miss us as much as i do.

I was too lazy to rotate the picture, so meh.

I wish i'd stop comparing myself to people. It's tiring

Be rich in hope, secure in blessings you see ahead. Even when times are tough, have faith in the future.

You ought to.

2011-11-07T16:52:00.000+08:00

Went to Nicole's house on Sunday.
& boy did we have fun. :D I miss her la, haha.
Followed Aunty Tina, her mummy back to their place after church.
& then we stopped by Plaza Damas to pick up her new phone.
Then we did really past quick shopping & we also bought honey sticks from Coffee Bean, woohoo.

Went back to her house, ate a bit & started baking.
Sorry ! No pictures of us baking because the process was too hectic & messy.
I don't usually bake, so that's why i made a huge mess out of the kitchen.
Haha.
But it was fun !
:)

It was fun because it's only my second time doing icing. :D
& i gotta say it wasn't as nice as i wanted to be.
Nor was it as easy as how it looks on tv, LOL.
But yea, i like decorating my tiny cupcakes. :D

& this is what Nicole did for belated Halloween.

She was also baking for some friends or something.

& yeaa, she's good at these stuff.

Oh, if i'm not wrong, she also does orders.

So if you want any cupcakes, you can go track her down & buy some cupcakes from her ;)

& after the baking. We went swimming !
The pool was kinda dirty because it just rained.

& there were also a lot of mosquitos.

& there might have been some frogs.

But we just decided to be spontaneous & jump into the pool :B

& we actually found a way to take pictures while swimming.

Haha, i know. We're so pro. xD

After swimming, we went back up to shower & to clean up.
Then a followed her & a few of her relatives to dinner.
Yay, big thanks for the free dinner. :)

& i'm ending this post with a lala picture of us. <3
ily, Nikio.

Sing with me.

2011-11-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hello eberybodehhhh.
I'm here to blog about my one day trip to Malacca on Friday with my & a few other classes. Hehe. :)
I was too bored after uploading all the pictures to Facebook. So here i am !

So going on a school trip means being random & silly. & doing things we don't usually do.

One of them, taking pictures w giant lollipops at a petrol station.

Haha. & this is Niee, my class assistant monitor. xD I like hugging her.

HAHA. She was also my partner for the day, whee.

So after about two hours of sitting, sleeping, laughing, talking & singing in the bus.

We finally arrived Malacca.

& what happened first, is that we were given paper sheets with questions we had to answer by the end of the day. ~~ikr, killed all the fun~~ But it's okay, we had wonderful skills of copying answers. ;)

Later, we went on a boat ! Yes, a river cruise. & i guess it was cool.

You know what was cool ?

My class is cool ! Haha.

We did almost everything together. - we had a bus all to ourselves. A boat all to ourselves.

I think it's kinda cool. No, it's very cool. 8D

This was one of the pictures taken from the boat.

Other pictures are camwhore pictures of my friends & i, & also creative paintings on the wall. But i'm too lazy to upload them. & my camera wasn't pro enough to emphasis on it's beauty. & i'm also sure people would think it'll be boring. - the paintings, i mean. So, oh wells. :D The pictures are all on Facebook tho, hehe.

We were also waving to passerby's while we were in the boat.

Haha, it was funny. :D
We're such kind people. My class is awesome. :P

So after the boat ride, & well jotting down answers for the question sheets.

We went touring around museums. :)

HORSES ! HAHA.

Yea, i get excited over little things like these.

So on to the boat !

I like seeing them together.
They're so cute ! Haha.
So we went into the boat. Visited a few boats, to be exact.
We didn't really bother reading through the histories & stories or whatsoever tho.
We just took pictures & laughed at funny things. & laugh at funny people.
& take even more pictures.
& i gotta say it was fun. It was really fun. :)
Making noise in the museum, like a boss.

My girls. :)

& this is the gang of girls i usually hang out with from my class.

We're all devils in disguise, mwahaha.

I mean ! We're all really nice people & we have a great time getting along with each other.

Haha, but really. Going on this trip w them was superb fun !

It was funny because, you see those benches we're sitting on ?

Niee & i were jumping on them to look at the mirrors by the side - & off course, taking pictures.

I like that place, they had a lot of mirrors ! Haha. :D

& well, i just like this picture. Mwahaha xD
We can go around taking pictures with anything. & it was fun.
Oh yes, the fun of being a girl. :D
I guess most guys from our class thought we were freaks.
But meh. :P

Do you see the giant turtle ? Hehe.

Yes, we took pictures with giant turtles sealed in a box. Haha.

& yes again, we didn't bother reading a single information about that giant turtle - & any other displayed stuff. :P

Whee, i like this picture ! I forgotten who took it though.

See the headless man behind me ?

Yea, he's my pilot. :D

My helicopter driver, mwahaha.

How does he fly that thing without a head, you ask me.

Why i don't know !
Lol, sorry ._. I'm getting really bored.

& yes, the very famous titanic pose.

It's a must-do when you go on a boat. LOL.

But they look rather happy to die together, huh ? :P

My darling, Ying Heng. :D
This picture was taken by a fountain in a mall.

We were given 2 hours to eat lunch. & we decided to go into a mall.

Haha.

The following pictures are pictures of things & not of people or me.

Because i looked horrible the rest of the day.

It was hot & i was sweaty. & my hair didn't look nice anymore. :(

So explains why there aren't a lot of pictures of me after this one xD

Pretty necklaces with our names on them only for Rm5. & believe it or not, they're the only things i bought. Haha. :)

You better say it's pretty !

& a picture of the beach taken at the top of A famosa ~~i think~~

After that we went to the famous red church to take some photos & to walk around.
But there's nothing interesting to be uploaded.
& then we walked around some more to take photos. & more walking around after that.
Then a super fun journey of randomness in the bus going home. :D
& we reached school around 8. LOL.
It's the first time i stayed until so late at school.
School is freaky at night o.o

So there goes my post ! Yay. :)

2011-11-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

Always in comparison.

I'm sorry i'm such a difficult person.

I'm sorry you've to be my friend.

You didn't sign up for any of these.

What if it came with a contract :

x . I'm sensitive.

x . I'm impatient.

x. I'll expect you to be there for me when something goes wrong.

x . & i'll be hurt if you're not here.

x. I'm insecure.

x. I want you to mean it when you say i'm your best friend.

x. I want you to tell me everything.

x. I need you to be understanding.

x. I need you to love me no matter what happens.

x. I need you to tell me you'll be here for me.

x. I need reassurance every once in a while.

x. I need to know i'm more important than your boyf.

x. I need you to talk to me.

x. I need us to have millions of pictures together.

x. I need you to laugh & cry with me.

x. I need you you to need me.

& if you can deal with all the above, let's be bestfriends now.

Just don't sign up for this if you know you'll leave me behind one day.

To the King of kings.

2011-11-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

Planetshakers concert last week !
Woohoo, i gotta say. Their new album is really different.
It was rather loud. Haha.

But yea, it was good to worship God with such enthusiasm.
Lifts up the spirit, you know.
& i gotta say, it was pretty amazing.

The worship was good.
A lot of songs i didn't know but i just sang along.
It was so loud that i couldn't hear myself even when i was screaming at the top of my lungs. ;o
So yea, i kinda came home w a sore throat, hehe.
But it's for God, right ? So why not. :D

The sermon by Pastor Matthew ~~something~~ was really good.
It was an evangelistic passage & he shared on John 3 : 16.
My favourite verse. :D & yea, it was good.
His message was simple yet magnificent.
& it brought so many people to Christ - the amazing part. ;)

When he called for the alter call. So many people went up to the front.
& oh goodness, it was amazing !
Seeing so many people stand up & walk to the front.
Best decision they've made in their live !
There was just such power, i almost cried. :')
Seeing so many lives being touched by God with that short & simple message.
& the best part is when they're brave enough to take that first step of faith to go to the front of the hall to say the sinners' prayer. - beyond amazing.

I cannot describe this feelings with words. I'm just so amazed, so in awe w what God can do.
& yes, ' you can even do greater things than these. '
You just have to be bold.
Bold to take the first step.
Bold to evangelize.

But here's a question - were you worshiping God, or planetshakers ?

It's okay.

2011-10-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

Do you love to see me happy ? :)

Uh oh.

The one week Deepavali holidays is coming to an end.

Although it's only three more weeks of suffering school days until the year end holidays, but i gotta say i'll miss being in the holiday spirit.

& off course, there'd be a few days of skipping school in between these three weeks. :B

So, this holidays wasn't as exciting as planned.

But i gotta say i'm satisfied. :)
Started the holidays by celebrating Qian Phei's sweet sixteen - pictures are all on Facebook.

* Sorry, was too lazy to do a proper blog post about these occasions.

Then one movie during the holidays.

I know, sad life.

& yesterday, shopping spree with my cell girls.

& Planet Shakers concert. :)

I gotta say.

Going on a shopping spree after so long gives me the best feeling ever. :)
Having a boyf would never make me as happy as new clothes, jewelry, or even just shopping & trying on clothes itself.

Oh, the fun of being a girl. :D

' ... People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. '

1 Samuel 16 : 7

So i'm tired of being compared.

Tired of always comparing.

I just want to stop caring.

Try to stop being shallow.

Try to tell myself that, looks ain't everything.

& i gotta go after God's heart, and not men's.

So yea, please bear with me if i'm not being a good person.

Trust me, i'm trying.

Rainbows & butterflies.

2011-10-30T18:48:00.000+08:00

Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened, & I will give you rest.

Matthew 11 : 28

When we're facing or going through a phase of difficulty, how often do we look up to God ?

& surrender it all to Him ?

Or, if you've realized.

We often look down to the floor.

Too busy trying to solve our issues to actually look to God & commit it all into His hands.

Too frustrated with thoughts of our own.

& we drown in our own misery, sometimes too arrogant or oblivious to care about what people think on how we deal with our problems.

But little do we know that it's so wrong to do that.

Or yes, sometimes we might pray.

Ask God for help & yada yada.

But after praying. The next day, we start worrying again.

Or start thinking back about the problem.

Well, that's not fully surrendering it to God.

& that doesn't help much.

God needs you to trust Him.

God needs you to rely on Him fully, in order to help you.

So help God, help you. :)

Surrendering everything might not be the easiest thing.

Because we're human after all, & it's in our nature to worry about something.

But learn, learn to pass it on to God.

& i guarantee you, the peace he provides, ~~is to die for~~ is utterly amazing.

Feel ze love.

2011-10-29T02:13:00.000+08:00

I wanted words but all i heard was nothing.

Have been pouring too much negative energy into my blog.
& that's bad oh bad.
Must be a hope & inspiration to friends or even passerbys'.
But thanks for those who cared.
It meant a lot :')

So yes, time to fill this blog with some positive energy.
Time to go back to my happy go lucky self.
& yea, there would be times i'd rant about my feelings & emotional unstableness.
But most of the times, i'd try to be a happy person. :D

Sprinkling happy dust all over this blog.
hehe, smiley faces ! :D
Now repeat : I'm a happy person, i'm a happy person, i'm a happy person.

Please ?

2011-10-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Can you please stop making me go through this, again & again.
You're not the only victim here.
& honestly, i'm tired.
I'm very, very tired.

I know it hurts, how you have to face this.
But it hurts me too, okay.
& i don't like being your doll.
I'm not old enough to be understanding about this.
I'm not even old enough to tolerate all these nonsense.
I'm sixteen, my mind can only absorb so much.

& I'm sure if this doesn't stop anytime soon.
My mind will blow.
& by then, i will really go crazy.

I don't like this, okay ?
As much as you do.
I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. - it's not.
But there's no reason for you to put me through this pain.
& you really have no idea how painful this is for me now, do you.

It's not as easy pretending to happy as it used to be.
So stop making me pretend.

Hello, you.

2011-10-27T20:07:00.000+08:00

Well, hello !

Just a new update to match with my new layout. :)

Oh, it's so pretty.

Hehehe.

But it also has a few disadvantages.

Which is, you can't click into other links. My links bar at the left is all gone. :O

So, i'm sorry.

But i hope you like it.

Much love .

2011-10-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

Please don't put me through this. :(

2011-10-25T02:08:00.001+08:00

i miss you, xx.

So. Tell me about it.

2011-10-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

So you're not here. You never were.

Don't rule yourself out of the good example population because you're younger. Being a good example has nothing to do with age and everything to do with how you live your life ...

You don't have to be a Goody Two-shoes, but you should try to live your life with courage & fairness & faith. If you can do that long enough, you're on your way toward becoming a good example. A good reputation opens doors that might otherwise stay closed to you.

I'm not saying i'm perfect. In fact, perfection is a stage i'll never reach.

But i'm trying - to be a better person, at least.

Do i get no credit for trying ?

Cause i've had dreams.

2011-10-23T17:33:00.000+08:00

But tell me the truth.

So i'm tired of trying to live up to these standards.

Not the standards of anyone in particular but myself.

For some unknown reason,

i've set the standards so high that it doesn't even make sense anymore.

& i can't give up because that means i'm just giving up on myself.

Why would i do that ?

I blame society.

All these shallow thoughts of having to be good & perfect.

I can't live in peace.

Cause i have way too much thought of needing to impress people.

With my outer appearance - my looks, my clothes, even my language.

Why is it so hard to be naturally & fluently good at something ?

Why is it that i can't stop comparing myself with the people & things of this earth.

What's this tugging feeling that i have to be better than everyone else.

Again & again, i have to remind myself that, i'm not good for nothing. I'm unique, i'm special.

All these crap just the make myself feel better.

& why is it that people are so fake.

They say people are beautiful.

Yet they go around talking bad about people, pointing out each & every imperfection.

That they tell themselves this world is full of mean people, but yet they're one of them.

They complain about how people break promises, but they never keep theirs.

What sense does that make to you ?

Are people really so blinded by fame & popularity that they lost their senses.

Do they really not realize the importance of thinking before they talk ?

Stop being so oblivious.

It's better to think too much, than to not think at all.

Because you obviously do not notice how retarded you sound when you speak.

& i just needed you to pick me up.

2011-10-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

When i'm down & i'm forgotten.

Hello !

Just here to blog about my 40Days Fast & Prayer to prepare myself for the Sabah Mission Trip in December.

& yes, this preparation is much needed !

But gosh, it's so hard to keep my spirits up with so much going on.

Remembering Sunday.

2011-10-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

I'll sail the world with you.

Hello !
Went to the Logos Hope bookfair today with mummy & some of her friends.

Note to self : Always bring earphones when going out w mummy & her friends.

So yea, i gotta say. It was really fun !

It was my first time being on a cruise ship. Even though, i really didn't go on a cruise.

& it's also my first time going for a bookfair, on a ship !

Hahaha, amazed ?

But yea, left the house around two. An hour plus journey to reach Port Klang.

& tada ! The bookfair was in that ship. ;)

It was so cool. Hehe.

& guess what ? There was this really hot guy. :P

Brought along my Pumpkin so that i wouldn't die of boredom in the car. But i ended up sleeping & it was no fun because there was no internet. But i managed to get some shots & make them look really good w my oh-so-canggih photography app.

So, ended up buying quite a number of books. & boy was it fun !
I like buying stuff for cheap prices. Woohoo !
& it's for a good course ! I think o.o
But all in all, i can say now that
' I've been to a Logos Hope bookfair, yay me ! '

We had seafood for early dinner.
Oh, really good seafood.
& thus, the end of my day trip w my mummy & her friends. :B

I'll pull you through.

2011-10-16T17:16:00.000+08:00

See you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart,
never really had luck, couldn't never figure out.
How to love.

Sometimes we're all at the point of falling apart.

We're no longer strong enough to believe what they tell us - that love's a beautiful thing.

Because every time you put yourself out there, you wind up getting up.

But no matter how they try to convince you,

or no matter how they try to prove you wrong.

Or there might be things supporting your disbelief.

There might be even more reasons for you to think that love, is no beautiful thing.

There's always one love.

The only & only, unconditional, everlasting love. - God's love.

& there's nothing you can do to prove that wrong.

No matter how bad things can be on this earth.

God's love is always there. The only love you can rely on.

& this love beats every other love out there, because this love is truly beautiful ;

I'm sorry we've never been there for you.

To support your dreams.

& you had to go through this alone.

I'm sorry, but i'm incapable of dealing with all of these.

So i'm pulling myself out of your lives.

Whatever.

2011-10-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out. Ah, but what if it does ?

Somewhere along the way, i just stopped believing.

Maybe it's a choice, but this would never hurt as much.

;

This is all i've got to offer.

2011-10-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

Don't think forgiveness will come easy.

I know we're friends.

& we had thoughts of taking over the world together.

That we are as one body.

& what's mine is yours, & what's yours is mine.

But we come to the point where things just can't be the same anymore.

I'd feel like you're intruding my life.

Yes, stupid. I know.

But i can't help to feel that things have changed.

& i know, we weren't how we used to be.

In fact, i'm pretty sure things will never be the same again.

Because now, i mind.

I really do.

You're my friend & everything.

But it's not friendship when sometimes i feel like i'm your competition, or the other way round.

It's just all in my head, yes.

But once i start feeling this way, i know something's wrong.

Maybe i'm just thinking too much.

I know i'm thinking too much.

But things just isn't supposed to feel this way.

& nobody gets it.

Say goodnight.

2011-10-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

When what you see if what you can't have.

Hello !

I know, lack of updates.

Actually had a lot of inspiration of what to blog,

but all my inspiration flew away.

Have been too busy preparing for finals.

I gotta say, that i slack a lot.

But still.

See you after finals, blog. :)

Things to do after finals : Oh, too much to list them all out.

I can't tell you what's wrong.

2011-10-01T01:59:00.000+08:00

Because i really don't know.

Sometimes, it's the little things that makes you happy.

The one thing someone said that made everything better.

The sincerity of a person's compliment.

The support people give you.

It's the people who you're close with who's able to hurt you the most.

But when someone comes along into your life, & just be there for you.

Those are the moments which really matter.

So let's see what happens next.

Surprise me.

2011-09-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

Would you fall in love with my smile tonight ?

Sometimes, it's fine to be not okay.

Just took some time out to rant about all these unnecessary emotional rides going on these days.

It's tiring, you know.

My accounts project is driving me nuts.

& finals are in two weeks !
Thinking about makes me dieeeeee.

& i think it's just me but more are more people are doing stupid things daily to piss me off.

Yea, i think it's just me, tsk.

But some of my friends are nice to stick by my side through my ups & downs.

To accept & deal with my insanity.

But i'm pretty sure they all think i'm some psychotic freak that clearly needs to go for therapy.

So yea.

Thumbs up for friends. :)

If i hold you in my arms, would you dance with me ? -

Oh, & for those of you who know Ying heng, please please pray for her. !
& hopefully she gets better soon, whee.

& maybe i should take time out to gulp down spoon fulls of ice cream to feel better.

But for now, bye.

Please be mine.

2011-09-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

What i don't show, is what you don't know.

You know how people say, there are many fishes in the sea.

& it means that, sometimes the person you like may not like you back - or vice versa.

But the world is huge, & you've plenty of options.

Well, it's quite true.

At this age, it's quite normal to have certain feelings towards certain people.

& there are some of us who are silly enough to believe that whatever relationships we have now might last forever.

Well, i'm sure you all know what i mean. :)

Sometimes, all we see is that one fish.

Although there are millions and billions of fishes swimming past us every single day.

It's as though all we can see, is that one fish.

Maybe at that time, we think it's the most unique fish we've ever seen.

Or it just has an inner beauty that attracts us.

That we can't stop looking at.

Well, some of our friends might get pissed off at how obsessed we are with, that one fish.

But hey, that's a special fish now, ain't it ? :)
Or then when we get over the fish, only we realize that that fish isn't much of a big deal after all.

& at times, we watch fishes swim side by side, doing what couples do best.

While we just sit at the side of the aquarium & watch them.

Drowning in our own forever-alone thoughts & feel all miserable.

Sometimes, we keep swimming.

Hoping to search for our perfect fish along the way.

But then we keep swimming, keep swimming.

Even after we found Nemo. We don't find our perfect fish.

Ps : That was a lame joke. Please laugh now.

& it's quite pathetic, at times.

At how we always believed that, somewhere out there.

There's this one particular fish that's meant to be mine forever.

But it's no where to be seen.

I know, sucky feeling.

Well, all these common scenarios.

But i guess this tests our patience.

I don't know, life would be kind of boring if you met your perfect fish at the age of 16, right ?

I mean, sooner or later, you would get bored of that fish. & like all other fishy relationships turn out - it ends.

Ps : That was another lame joke. You should laugh now.

But off course, we'd never stop dreaming of the day we meet our perfect salmon, settle down, have sweet memories together. And you know, all those things you dream of, lol.

But the thing is. One day, we will meet our perfect fish.

& even though we're really impatient & we're frustrated at how slow our fish is swimming towards us.

But trust me, they want to find you as badly.

So, don't stop believing.

That one day, you'll find your perfect fish.

You're the best. :)

2011-09-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to Melanie Elisa Lim. :)

Also known as, MY SMELLY.

We celebrated her sweet 16 Friday night at Cititel Hotel.

But her real birthday is on the 27th. But she'll be away.

Her flight to Canada is today.

But don't forget to wish her on Facebook !

Her sweet sixteen party was pretty awesome.

I'm sorry i don't have pictures. None of them brought their cameras.

& the one person who did haven't uploaded the pictures on Facebook yet.

Or maybe i don't see it because i didn't add him. :P

According to Thaqif, he didn't bring his camera because he thought Andrew would bring it. But Andrew thought Wilson would bring it. But then Wilson thought Thaqif would bring it.

So in the end, no one brought their cameras.

OH WELLS.

She hired performers, such as a singing band, a dance group & er, Michael Jackson. LOL.

Ps : MJ was scary - no joke. He looked better without the make up.

This is a picture i stole from Mel's wall. :P

It's er, Michael Jackson proposing to her.

Lol. If i were her, i'd be super freaked out.

Well, all in all, i had a great time.

These sexy pictures were taken when we went to Candace's.
Oh, all the good times we had. :)
Oh, she's mine.

Thanks for being such a good friend !

You're the best. <3

I love you, Mel. :')

All the things i've got against it.

2011-09-18T16:39:00.000+08:00

& it's love.

So leave me alone when you want to talk about feelings.

What makes you think i can help ?

What makes you think i'm capable & in full control of my own emotions ?

So what if one day i go crazy.

Where would you be ?

Question my faith ?

2011-09-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

The 40 days Fast & Prayer is coming to an end. Today's the last day. :)
In fact, it'll be ending in about an hour.

Wheeee.

I'm really happy that i can make it through these 40 days.

I didn't forget about my fast & accidentally eat meat.

& that i didn't go on Facebook for 40 days.

Hey, i didn't cheat at all, you know. :D

At first, i was kind of worried that i won't be able to do the fast.

Because it'd be my first year fasting meat.

& i love love love chicken ! Haha.

But with determination, perseverance & God's strength,

i made it through the fast ! :D
I am honestly so proud of myself.

Because throughout these 40 days, a lot has happened.

It taught be to be stronger in God.

& well, i hope this passion doesn't die off anytime soon.

Much love.

I'm tired.

2011-09-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

The music starts to play, for only two.

If it breaks your heart to see me cry.

I'd cry a million times just to see you die ; .

When we were young, we all had dreams.

At the age of five, i'd love to be a princess.

At the age of twelve, a designer.

Now, i really don't know.

But sooner or later, we get too busy with our lives.

We just go with the flow, & forget our dreams.

Off course, we'd always have that thought of achieving our dreams at the back off our heads.

But like always, we're busy.

The big bungalow by the pond, with our children & a few farm animals. Yea, the retirement dream.

Later in life, we remember our young dreams.

& you realize how almost impossible it is to accomplish your dreams.

Because life's no Disney movie.

Everything that seems wrong won't magically turn right.

All the time, money, & effort spent on trying, when nobody gives you credit for trying.

; I'm not here for your entertainment.

The sophistication of a confused mind.

2011-09-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

Would you love me if i went crazy ?

Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

1 Timothy 4 : 12

Some people think that with the things i do, i'm trying to get famous or popular.

Clearly, they don't know me well.

I do what i like & i do what makes me happy.

Sometimes, i do things i don't like - but i do it because i have passion.

I don't want popularity or fame. I want to be appreciated.

Though sometimes i fall or stray.

Though sometimes i do stupid things for no apparent reason.

Though sometimes i do things i would regret.

But most of the time, i do things with an indirect reason behind it.

So i feel rather insulted if you say that,

i do things for popularity.

If you're my friend.

Respect that.

No person is a failure, if that person has a friend.

2011-09-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

I'll put you in front of me, so everybody can see my love. This is my love.

Dear God,

I just pray for every person

and think about anything in life

that they would know that their life has value

meaning & purpose

I pray God that you speak to their hearts

and let them know that this life they have, is worth living.

Life - Jaeson Ma

Jaeson Ma is so inspiring !

I remember a few months ago, we were doing this series in church.

Of characters that are amazing. They have strong passion for God.

& very incredible personality that we could learn from.

One of them is Jaeson Ma.

We learnt about his whole journey, about how he came to Christ.

But it's too long of a story & i forgotten a lot. Oops ?

Then, just recently.

A few guys in my class started singing one of his songs Love - Jaeson Ma.

And i was so surprised.

I was also really really happy ! :)

I told them that hey, Jaeson Ma is actually a pastor & he is basically singing about God.

But i thought that they'd stop singing the song after hearing that..

But no !
They kept singing. & they thought that Jaeson Ma was a really cool dude.

I WAS SO HAPPY. :)

A few dudes got so bored that they decided to translate the song into a very lousy Chinese version too.

Oh, the works of God - it's amazing.

Is that what you want me to say ?

2011-09-09T18:29:00.000+08:00

So tell me you'd love me for who i am, though i'm not sure of who i really am.

Greetings my fellow aliens. :)

ikr, i'm being lame.

So, school has been fine.

Every now & then, i just can't help but to think how fast time went by this year.

& how i am going to die next year, facing SPM.

I know i'm supposed to be confident and think positively.

Yada yada, all those things people tell you when you're going through an exam year.

I also know i should just chillax while i can, & do my best.

But the thing i'm pretty sure of, is to stop worrying & trust in God.

But that is so hard !

What if i do bad in Spm ?

Jengjengjeng. Life ends there.

Well, off course not.

But my self-confidence dies, i'll be forever disappointed in myself. I'll face the phase of feeling absolutely useless or unwanted. I'd feel like a failure. & i'd waste my mom's money. :/

I know, way too much to think of.

But these are just 'just if's ' .

Which can be quite sad at times.

BUT YOU KNOW, i'm just oh so scared !
& it doesn't help when teachers go like

' Your finals are in 3 to 4 weeks, then you'll have a week of Deepavali holidays, then you come back. & have another 5 weeks of holidays. Then it's next year ! & you have SPM. '

I just have to rant about how nervous i'm actually feeling about having to go through SPM.

I'm pretty sure that when we grow old & look back to when we're 17.

Going through SPM was no biggy compared to whatever challenges i'd be facing when i go into college or when i start working.

But mehmehmehmehmeh, i should just trust in God in this.

I survived PMR, didn't i ?

Smile so hard.

2011-09-09T18:12:00.000+08:00

And laugh so wide.

Sometimes in life, we make the silliest mistakes.
& they're the memories that makes us smile.
All the good times that we had.
All the moments we made a fool out of ourselves,
but loved.

All the moments that we can never go back to.

& they say, never regret something that once made you smile.
So i'll never regret having you.
(:

-

Although things are so different now.
We ponder on all the memories we once had.
The realization that we were so cute together, even though we didn't know each other well.
But we had fun, we had our moments. We smiled, we laughed.
I gotta admit that we were pretty awkward at times.
But we were just kids in love.

So these are the nice things to think about.
Though sometimes, i'm pretty sure, we'd wonder why & how.
We'd ask ourselves the questions that pisses us off.

But hey, no regrets here.
I hope things are the same on your side.

Much love,

future.

Ku pakai kuasa :D

2011-09-04T19:23:00.000+08:00

Whatever makes you happy, baby.

Just a short post before i say goodbye to this wonderful holidays, & move on with my life.
Hey, not an easy job okay.
See, i'm not complaining about how my holidays are ending soon & how i've to go back to school & face daily drama which breaks me down.
Although i'm still not done with my break.
& although it might kill me to go back to school.
But whatever.
I'm sure God has his plans. :)

& whatever it might be, i still have to face it.
So, i'll face it with a happy face.
Happy face !

Oh, please please, bring me shopping !

Serenity, it's from within.

2011-09-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

So these two pictures just sums up what i did on Friday & Saturday.

It was no biggy.

But hey, the day wasn't wasted just like that.

So yea, i'm satisfied. :)

I don't know. I like taking pictures !

& I'm not done w my Exist Conference post.

I really learned a lot in those three days.

I hope i won't be too lazy or too selfish to ignore the fact that i just have to share some stuff i learned.

But anyhow, i'll just share a short post right now.

( just in case i don't come back after the holidays. Or if i completely forget about what i was going to post. Or if i get too lazy. )

So. I'll be going for the mission trip in December to Sabah. & i'm really excited !
The #1 i've got to do : Improve my BM

So now, every now & then, i'll ask Faith to teach me how to speak in Sabahan BM.

Nyehehe, i'm so passionate, right ?

Don't you all feel inspired now ? :D :D

Okay, joking.

& big thanks to Faith ! :)

Okay, i've something to admit.

If it weren't for the conference, or before i attended this conference.

I honestly looked down on the bumiputera's.

Like, how some of them didn't speak English.

At how they dress up, or even how they talk.

At how their homes are so old & everything.

( Hey, i know i was being mean. But i'm just being honest, okay ? ;x )

But little did i know that they're such nice people.

Really, they are.

& i realized that they were the first ones to be reached out to throughout Malaysia.

They were the one who witnessed revival - twice !

& they were and are the ones who are gifted.

So yea, what rights do i, really have to look down on them ?

I'm not doing this for show okay.

& some of you don't really know how judgmental i can be.

So really, to learn to look up to them - not easy !

But all in all, i just learn to respect all bumiputera's. & to love Malaysia more. - from the bottom of my heart !

& i'll try my best, to humble myself, & to serve them as brothers & sisters.

Ps : This post is to encourage everyone else to respect the bumiputeras, too.

Pps : Still not for show.

2011-09-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

So watch me as i go.

We learn from every mistake we make.

While others just watch as we dwell in the results of our stupidity.

Deep down in our hearts, something's changing.

While people go around saying what a mess we are.

Deep inside we know, we're turning into the people we're meant to be.

So, who cares what people think.

The mercy & grace.

2011-09-01T16:50:00.000+08:00

The only reason i exist.

Hello everyone !
I'm here to blog about the Exist Conference i attended & helped facilitated in during this holiday.

It was held on the 28th, until the 31st. Which was Sunday until Wednesday.

At first, i was honestly quite reluctant to help out because it would have taken half of my holidays away.

But hey, when God calls you, you better not run. :D

So, Exist is the SIBBM church's band.

And every year, they would have a concert / conference.

This time, 777 people signed up for it - including my fellow brothers & sisters who flew from Sabah & Sarawak.

People throughout Malaysia came, brothers and sisters from SIBSeremban, SIBPahang, SIBSepang & many more.

It was amazing to see so many people at this conference !
& since most of them spoke in Sabahan or Sarawakian BM, i had to dialogue in BM too.

Which was, really hard for me. D;

So, i helped facilitated in one of the afternoon workshops - The bomb. :D
It was basically a game with many moral values ( linking to God, off course ) behind it. & it was only for the teens. The young adults & Unico bunch had programs of their own.

So i shall not burst the bubble about what the bomb is, just in case one day, somewhere, somehow you get the opportunity to play this game, it'd not be ruined for you.

But watching the teens as they play was fun for me as well ! Because they did many crazy things.

Hah. :P

So throughout these three days, i had the opportunity to go to other workshops such as Relationships & also Cyber. But i was too lazy to move around.

So yah, after the game. I did my part of facilitating & debriefing, but because i do not speak fluent BM & i'm still a newbie at leading or facilitating, i did not have a group of my own. I would join my other sisters & just help them, and add stuff into it.

So yea, throughout the game, they were quite active. But when it's time to talk and chat, some of them would be quite shy.

But they're such nice people ! They're so enthusiastic & they're just sweethearts. :D

One of the other facilitators bought a CD for me, as an encouragement to go improve my BM.

& the thing is,

they have such strong passion for God ! It's amazing.

For this conference, every night they would have concerts !

Yes, worship concerts which are amaaaaaaazing. :D
They would also have an hour of performances before that.

So, just like normal KL gila people, we would scream and shout and cheer for the performers.

While other people just sit there with poker faces.

But when it's worship time.

They dance, they sing, they cheer, they shout, they jump !
It's so very powerful. :)

It was nice to see.

& i feel embarrassed that even if i have the energy to dance & shout & jump, i don't do it.

So yea, they are really wonderful examples to learn from. ;)

To see them have such passion for God, it brings my spirit up, up & UP !
Although i don't know what i can do now, but when i know. I'd take the step of faith and go for it.

❤

Just to have a reason.

2011-08-26T22:31:00.000+08:00

You haven't lost your smile at all, it's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there.

Your charms might be the only thing that's keeping my smile. :)

So it wasn't a perfect getaway.

2011-08-26T19:10:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody. :)
This is just a short post about the camp i went to last weekend.
The 3 days, 2 nights camp organized by The Boys' Brigade club to celebrate their 25th anniversary in my school.
I'm sorry i can't get any pictures because my fast isn't over & i can't go on Facebook.
( But hey, i'm almost done with the third week of my fast & i gotta say, i'm really proud of myself to come so far. :D )

So, i gotta say.
I'm not the type of person who go for camps.
School camps, especially.
But after much persuasion, i decided to go.
& It wasn't half that bad.
I mean, it was really hard to resist meat during the camp.
But overall, it was okay. & i had fun. :)

So, a little detail about what we did.
The resort wasn't what exactly what i imagined it to be.
In fact, not even close !
The worst thing was, ( no, not the toilets - hah. )
But the distance between the dorms & the canteen.
Everyday, we had to go back & forth from the canteen at least 7 times.
& BOY WAS IT TIRING.
The food were good though, the dorms were okay, & the toilets - i could deal with.
But if i were to live there for 3 months, i might just die.

So yea, we were divided into groups & to cut things short, i was in a group with 6 other people. We're group ten, & we were named Ben 10. :D
Credits to myself for thinking of the group name & cheer. :P
So yea, it was fun. :)
Thank you, Carol for accompanying me throughout most of the activities.
&&&& so yea, activities !
We went kayaking, rafting, flying fox <3 , high rope, night jungle walk, treasure hunt & went though an obstacle course.
I gotta say, although it was tiring & i didn't had my super bff gang with me.
I had fun.
The flying fox was amazing, i liked the breeze in my hair. It felt nice to be hanging alone in the air. :P
The high rope was a wonderful experience. :)
The night jungle walk was tiring but the stars, oh they were beautiful !
& the treasure hunt & obstacle course was tiring but fun fun fun :D

Yea, i'm not exactly sporting.
But this camp was nice.
& Oh, not to forget, i met a lot of new friends !
Well yea, i gotta say.
I had pretty wild mood swings throughout the camp.
But all it all, it was fun. :)

This satisfactory smile.

2011-08-14T20:42:00.000+08:00

So we all believed.

Hello ! :)
Okay, am finally satisfied with my blog now.
I have a picture of myself ( sort of ) in my intro section thingy.
Heh.

Well, my face is covered but whatever. :P
Just so you know, i have this new love for stars, & the galaxy & the universe.
Well, i've had this love all along, but after watching the movie Indescribable yesterday, i just love it all even more. :D
Stars are just so pretty, you know ?

Gosh, my vocabulary sucks.
Anyhow, i'm just really happy even though i have trials starting tomorrow.
But yada yada. I've studied, so i hope i do well.

Send my regards to your soul ;

Indescribable

2011-08-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

This, is the Milky way. Ever heard of it ?
This might look like just another pretty picture.
But it's real, we're a part of it.
We're a tiny tiny part of it.
Planet earth, is one of those dots somewhere in there.
Yes, a dot.
I can't really elaborate on how small we are. It's just so, very small.
But if planet earth is just a dot in there, how small can we possible be ?

I don't know about you.
But i think it's pretty amazing.
How God has created all these stars. This whole galaxy.
There are billions & trillions of stars.
& God knows every star by name.
Just like how there's more than 6,775,235,700 people in this world, & he knows each and every one of us, by name.
& God loves us. Loves us so very much, that He would send his own Son to die for us - John 3 : 16
To die for our sins, giving us eternal redemption.

Did you know, a light year is 9.4605284 × 10¹⁵ meters .
& if God says, he'll allow you to be in heaven for one trillion light years.
It's well, only a mere second compared to eternity.
But when Jesus hung on the cross & said ' It is finished. '
He has given us eternal redemption.
& it's said that if we believe and proclaim that Jesus Christ is Lord, we'll be able to have that eternal redemption. Not only to be in heaven for that mere one trillion light years.
But for eternity.

It's amazing. God's love is amazing. God's grace is amazing. God's mercy is amazing. God is amazing.
There's just so much that God has done - it's indescribable.
Sometimes, we put ourselves first in life.
We feel like all the troubles in our lives are huge & it brings us down.
We are proud, we are selfish at times. We are individuals who sometimes have too much emotions & feelings. At times, we only care about ourselves. Not caring what this world thinks about us.

But do you not realize how small we are ?
We might be talented, rich, strong, powerful.
But how much can we control ?
We're just not as big as we think we are.
And the 70, 80 or 90 years we live. What are they compared to the billions and trillions of lightyears ?
And the hours of sadness & pain we go through in life.
How big can they possibly be compared to this whole galaxy ?

I don't know about you, but i'm in awe.
I don't have much authority in this earth.
Not earth but among my friends or family.
I'm not much. I'm not big. I'm not beneficial to anyone or anything in a lot of ways.
Thinking about it, i'm actually so, so small.
Sometimes i only focus on everything bad. I focus on myself. I get frustrated & complain about how things cannot be better.
Not realizing that even if i am just a tiny being, so, tiny. So so very small.
God loves me nevertheless.
Amazing, huh ?

This is the hour glass galaxy.
I think it's cool how it looks like an eye in the middle.
God's really watching, huh ? :)
& i'm pretty sure God has really good eyesight to be able to look at each of us on earth from all the way there. ( Wherever this is. - sorry i didn't do my research on astronomy before blogging. :x )

And this is the whirlpool galaxy. :)

I think it's beautiful.

& something oh so beautiful & wonderful about it,

is it's center.

Astronomers somehow zoomed in, and discovered how it's center looked like.

You might think it's just a coincidence. Or you might think it could be anything else. But hey, i believe it.

A cross.
I find it pretty amazing.
That no matter where we go,
God is here.
God is wherever we are.

& this is makes we believe more.
I don't know what to say anymore,
because it's truly indescribable.
Looking at it, i'm just amazed.
& comforted.
Rather speechless.

I'm just happy to know that i'm serving such a great God.
That no mater how little i am, He still loves me.
& this whirlpool center, it's core.
Reminds me, of how much He truly loves me.

Enough is enough.

2011-08-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

A blow kiss goodbye.

Hello ! Okay, the picture above is actually an old picture.

I haven't been camwhoring lately, so yea. :)

& sorry about the previous post. I had a lot to release.

So anyhow !

This month's quite a happening month too. Which is actually, a good thing.

Let's see, there's a lot of birthdays going around. Because 9 months before August would be December.

Which means Christmas, which means .. :P

& secondly, i'm having my 40 days Prayer & Fasting.

What's that ?

Well, it's just 40 days Christians choose to dedicate to God every year.

As for me, i'm fasting meat and Facebook.

Trust me, although it has only been less than a week, it's not easy !
But it's okay, it's for God ! & i really hope i can do it. :D

& we basically pray for our lovely country - Malaysia.

With all these riots going around in the world, i think it's really important to pray that we won't get affected in anyway, or that the riot won't spread.

& yea, you won't be seeing me on Facebook anytime soon. ;x

I have trials next week and meh, i'm too lazy to talk about it.

And on Friday next week, i'll be going for a camp organized by The Boys' Brigade Company of my school. :D I'm too lazy to help them promote, so meh ! :P

I'm honestly quite excited, although it's not the luxurious resort or beach side i was expecting.

But whatever, any getaway would be fine.

I really hope this trip turns out well.

& although my birthday is long gone.

I haven't had a lunch celebration or whatsoever with my girls.

So hopefully, we'll find time to do it !

Hmm, that's all for now, i guess ? (:

& THIS WOMAN, is MY Naomi Lee. :)
She migrated to Canada.
Brrr, ikr. :P
But yah, it's like 15 hours difference, and i don't know how to talk to her ! But i'm sure we'll work things out.
LOVEYOUOMILEE. <3

All in all.

In depth.

2011-08-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

“You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains.

You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.

You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows.

This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.”

— I Am Afraid - William Shakespeare

I'm sorry.

But i can't be the hot girlfriend you've always wanted.

I can't be the best friend you always needed.

I can't be the daughter you always dreamt of.

I don't want to be the person you want me to be.

It's tiring.

I don't want to feel this way anymore, when you don't even care at all.

I'm tired of all these lies & insincerity.

Leave me alone.

Thanks for the love.

2011-08-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

HEEEEEEEEHEEE, i'm sixteen now !
Although my birthday went by quite quickly.
I had fun. :)
No super huge party or anything.
But hey, sixteen, baby.
I'll make the sweet out of it.

And that, is my boyf.
Okay, i'm joking.
That's my friend, Xing wei. :D
I just liked this picture because i was holding someone's hand in it.
Random much ? Yes.

AND THIS,
was the make Melanie a.k.a My Smely bought for me !
Although she wasn't there when this picture was taken, or although i don't have a picture with her on this day.
She means OH SO MUCH to me.
& i'm so thankful for this cake & lip gloss she bought me.
Ps : The gloss she gave me was pretty and was given to me with super pretty packaging. Be jealous ! :D

And this is DAWN.

There was a surprise party planned for the both of us on Saturday. :)

So here's a big THANK YOU.

For Debbie & Eirena for planning the surprise party & every from church who went. <3 ya'll.

For Melanie & Tash, Sherniee & Xing wei the presents.

For the birthday song my class sang for me.

For the song Smely, Willy, Andrew & Tim sang for me.

For the two songs sang for me in the canteen.

For the song Qi rui, Junyan & Justin soloed for me.

For the cake Smely bought.

& for everyone else who wished me - in person, facebook or text.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. For even remembering. :)

No man behind the camera.

2011-08-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

Past is sitting directly opposite you,

staring straight into your eyes.

Imagine, you're at a beach. Alone.
Only the sound of the waves.
& you have piles and piles of rocks beside you.
Rocks, representing your past.
You have so much past & regrets. And everything else.
If you can throw them all into the sea,
could you ?

Sometimes, we hold on to our past, too tightly.
Why can't we just let it all go ?

-
I'm sorry for all i've done.
But since then, & until now.
I just wish for you to move on.
Because you know, i want to move on with my life.
But with everything you say, and everything you do.
You just have to remind me of your presence & whatever wrong i've done to you.
Pulling me back into where we are now.

Because, things can be better.
You can't just stand by my side and say, hey, i want to be friends.
I don't know if you knew this,
but you have to let go.
So that we both can move on.

I know i've been selfish all along but,
What i want isn't what you want.
We can't change each other's minds.
But there's just something you need to do about it.

But to those who matters.

2011-08-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

will certainly care.

Heeeeehehehehe !

So i party with myself.

MAY AUGUST BE A GOOD MONTH. :P

I've let you close enough.

2011-07-25T14:51:00.000+08:00

Celebrated Chris Yap's sweet sixteen yesterday. :)
His sister invited us to a surprise party & it was so nice of her to do so.
She paid for everything !
Which includes the Redbox VIP room.
It was so fancy, okay.

Yes, of all poses. :)
It's been so long since i've had so much fun.
-

Sometimes, we just have to be out & about to discover new things about ourselves.
& here, i don't really know what i've discovered.
Not anything happy, at least.
Maybe all these things happens for a reason.
But for a reason i've yet to figure out.
Maybe i was meant to walk this road alone.

Like a broken pencil.

2011-07-25T14:45:00.000+08:00

I can't keep up with your turning tables.

Tell me where this leads to now.

So i know, i'm just as vulnerable & fragile.

But not pathetic to crawl back into your arms.

I might be struggling, even though it sucks to go through this all alone.

But i'm not weak enough to beg for you to come back.

So i don't know what's going on in my heart.

But i know, you're not here to solve anything.

You're just here to make things worst.

Neither here nor there.

2011-07-22T19:33:00.000+08:00

Thanks for the memories.

Peeeeeeeeepoooo.

So busy this month.

Sports' Day is tomorrow !

& goodness, i'm so tired from all the practice.

I hope i don't lose my voice or get a sore throat tomorrow. D:

& i hope i won't get pissed off at how horrible we might turn out.

& IU Day's next Friday !
Just one more week to go.

Stress gila okay.

People aren't cooperating & well, my patience has it's limits.

-_____-

Ah, hopefully.

Things will just fall into place.

Save me.

2011-07-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

I've got all the answers, so why do i still ask ?

I really need the strength of God ! :D
I really need to be a more responsible Christian.

Kind of reluctant to do it but * smacks.
Must do it for God ! :)
Ngehehehehe.

& I'm really sorry for the long whiny post.
I was .. er. Filled with thoughts.
Lol.

It shouldn't matter no more.

2011-07-15T21:16:00.000+08:00

If you meant everything you said, tell me how things ended up this way.

People are weird. They make promises they can't keep, they don't talk their walk, they hurt our feelings. We hurt each other's feelings.
Time passes a little too fast, people moving ahead of you, you having to move ahead of people, changes that happens in life every day. & all these changes are too much for a soul to cope with.

That's why as humans, we struggle. We struggle to love, we struggle to forgive & forget, we struggle to move on, we struggle to let go, we struggle with self of worth & self identity, we struggle to believe, to trust, to hope. We struggle to be happy because we struggle to remain positive when we only focus on the negativity.
We struggle to change.

That's why we're mean, we stop caring about people, we disappoint people, we don't keep promises, we don't walk our talks. We hurt each other's feelings.

But that's because, it takes a strong and bold person to change or to accept things as they are.
It takes time, patience, self - control. It takes faith, hope and trust, to believe that things would be fine.
To be able to lift ourselves up from the past, and take the first step into a new path of our lives.
It's hard, to be able to move on.
Even though being at this spot, kind of sucks.

But for some of us who are weak, and fragile. We're not willing to bare ourselves and face this pain. We're not ready to face the truth, to face facts. We're not ready to move on or we're not strong enough to lift ourselves up. We're afraid of progress, of even more change. We're sitting here, waiting for someone to come help us up, or just hoping that things would be naturally fine - but that's not true. We're to face this road ourselves, whatever comes ahead of us. Things won't just end up okay.

But for those who are willing. We're sick and tired of being in this same spot. We take the first step, maybe the second or third. Sometimes, we might even be half way there. But someone or something's bound to let us down. & then we just break down, not willing to stand up again. Sitting there, waiting for things to clear up before we decide that it's okay for us to start walking again.

All these are just parts of our lives.
Sometimes, we're strong enough, because we know that it's finally time to move on. We realize that, this is really bringing us down. & we know that, there's something better prepared for us.
& sometimes, we've just been through the worst situations ever, & we just want to lie in absolute misery. This agony is bearable & we're just not ready to move on. This might be a very selfish action, but we all have our moments. Sometimes, it could be for the better - to feel sad and all.
Well, sometimes. We know in our brains, that the right thing to do is to move on now, but our hearts are too weak to move. The brain & the heart, they can't work together now & it's not making anything better. And even if we took the first, or second step. Something happens, & we feel the pain all over again. We're discouraged & disappointed, we lost the motivation and support, we'll just sit here for a while longer, before taking a deep breathe, and going for it again.
Or when we get disappointed again, we fall back into our old, sad patterns.

But just so you know, you're not the only person going through this.
God has made all these happen for a reason.
He might have put you through a very sad path, but at the end.
He lifts you up to be a stronger individual.
Even though things are horrible, life is being mean and you don't seem to have any friends.
Don't give up on God.
These are all stages of your life, stages you would go through.

Love's a distraction

2011-07-12T19:36:00.000+08:00

You owe me roses.

Too engaged with our own thoughts, to realize how fast time passes us by. ;
Although we both have moved on.
Every once in a while, we ponder on why & how things turned out this way.
How things could have been, & how things would be.
We wonder why, certain things have to happen a certain way.
But of all the ways that we could have chosen from,
We ended up at this exact point. At this exact path.
Everything has led us to where we are now, for a reason.

Things could have been better, or things could have been worse.
But either way, we're standing here, with no way to turn things around.
There are things in life, choices we've made that we regret.
Mistakes we wish we could change.
Words or actions we wish to take back.
If given the choice & opportunity, what would you change in your life ?

But think twice.
Would you rather hold on to your past mistakes, or move on & make the best out of it ?

You left when i fell.

2011-07-10T14:19:00.000+08:00

Leaving me bruised.

Hello everybodeeeeeeeeeh ! :D
I just came back from Genting.
But no, i'm not going to post about the trip.
Ngehehe.
But overall, it was okay. I went with my 11 year old cousins which are non identical twins.
They get annoying after a while.
Brrr. -.-
& i couldn't go into the theme park cause i didn't have any guts to go on the rides alone.
So meh. D:

Anyway, so many things going on in July.
It's quite exciting, actually.
I wish i had more cash tho.

You know, in high school.
It's a big part of our lives.
We all know that.
Whether we're the popular kid, or the geek. It all matters.
So, naturally, you'd be quite proud to say
Hey, i performed for my teachers or gotten thousand of trophies before in school.

But you know, i'd be more proud to say.
Hey, know what ? I've done God's purpose for me in High school. :D
Well, yea.
I don't really have the rights to say that because i'm slacking on my Christian duties.
& that i don't even really know what my purpose is.
But you know, i might not be the coolest story to tell my children one day.
But i just want God to be proud of me. :)

So yea, time to give myself a kick to do God's work in school now.

Gotta do what's best.

2011-07-04T16:24:00.000+08:00

Who needs boyfriends when you've got friends ? :)

Sze Yuen babeee. :)
I know life's hard. When does life stop being so miserable, right ?

But just so you know, i'll always be here for you.

& we'll find a day when we can just talk about everything, okay ?

Life won't get any easier. But one day, things would be fine.

I'll give you a reason to smile & laugh.

I lalalala love you.

Take care okay. :D
And don't forget, God loves you.

Everything happens for a reason.

Don't you wanna stay.

2011-07-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

Goodness, picture turned out to be so small.
Retard -.-

Anyway, am too lazy to blog now.
Just wanted to post a picture.
:D

If i were you, i'd love me to bits.

Stay away ;

2011-06-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

When a boy sweeps you off his feet, he is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass.

In every little thing we do,
we're risking the chances of getting hurt.
Sometimes,
it's obvious. We know that what ever decision we're about to make, comes with a big risk.
But sometimes,
we won't notice it.

But every little action, leads to something at the end.
The end product might leave a big impact, or it might not.
But with everything we do, there's always circumstances.

We really have to think twice before doing something.
Because sometimes, the after pain, really hurts.

Lipstick lullaby.

2011-06-24T17:29:00.000+08:00

People get weak & scared, because they've something to lose.

Hello everybody ! I lost my inspiration for this post because it's been drafted for a week now. D:

So yea, anyway.

Sometimes, we let too much things stop us from being happy.

We give ourself reasons not to smile, not to laugh. Not to be happy.

You might not know it, but at some point.

We're comfortable to be in total misery.

We believe that even if we do laugh, or smile, it's just for a while.

& every once in a while, happiness comes.

But sooner or later, it'll just leave.

& misery fills it's place.

You might think of it that way,

that the amount of misery conquers the tiny amount of happiness in life.

Or you can think that,

life's fine, it's just that, every now & then, someone decides to let you down.

But we all know that's not true.

We might be going through a lot,

but nevertheless, there's always something, or someone that can make us laugh.

Maybe a person, maybe a certain thing. Or maybe, all it takes for us to cheer up is a joke.

A super duper lame yet funny joke.

& when we laugh, it might be just for that few seconds, or minutes.

Other than that, life go back to it's old sad and boring ways.

But hey, that laugh lasted for a second or so, right ?

& that actually counts.

A few seconds of happiness is better than nothing at all.

& you know how they say,

a day without laughter is a day wasted.

& when you have nothing to laugh about.

Just start laughing, & then you laugh at the fact that you actually laughed at nothing.

It works, true story. ;)

Your eyes are the size of the moon.

2011-06-19T01:29:00.000+08:00

Give me one good reason.

Sorry ! Lack of self portraits & updates.
I tend to neglect the camera when i got Pumpkin.

Anyway, first week of school after the holidays are, okay, i guess.
Still being lazy & tired most of the time.
And getting back the results for mid terms are quite, sad.
Wait until i have to tell my parents my results, then life would be miserable.

So yea, i guess for now.
If i were to blog, i'd spit out a lot of negative stuff.
& no, i don't want that.
Not as if people bother reading or anything but yea.

-
I'll leave when the wind blows.

Will you go all the way ?

2011-06-12T20:34:00.000+08:00

I find it hard to believe love exists, but.

Love, is actually all around.
You just gotta believe it's there.
Sometimes, you have to look past to bitterness and pain,
And then you'll see.
Bits and bits of love, everywhere

-

Because I'll die here, with or without you.

Please don't be sad now.

2011-06-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

Or let's just tell ourselves that because it's rather comforting.

Hello everybody,

i just need to brag about my feelings.

Ever had this friend, you were really close at first.

Then you two just become normal friends.

And at first you thought it was no big deal.

Then you realize that that friend doesn't even like you anyway.

For, well. Mysterious reasons you'd rather not know.

Ever had a friend, that you were close with ?

Then you noticed her or his flaws and started backing off ?

Then without you even realizing,

you actually mind all their flaws.

You set your guards up.

You have something against them, even thought you don't want to be mean.

But hey, there's just something about that person you don't like.

Whether it's his or her fault, or not.

Ever thought that maybe,

your friends never actually like you.

They're just always there for you.

Used to your existence.

But never really putting you as a part of their lives.

Or, you're a part they'd rather not have in their lives.

Cause maybe well,

their lives are just better without you.

The times you had smiling, laughing, bonding with them.

Was just fake & pretend.

Well, at least they were the one pretending ?

You never really know what a person thinks of you, huh ?

And sometimes, you never really know what you think of a person, huh ?

One day, you start disliking a person because you think she takes advantage of you,

but in her opinion, she may think you're okay with it.

You'll never really understand what's going through a person's mind.

There's so common sense, or obvious side to this.

Because the thing is, we can't read each other's minds.

And you can't blame a person for not knowing what you want.

Sad fact, but true story.

And then, at times.

Things just go crazy.

You don't know what you're feeling.

You don't recognize this pain.

There's this sudden rush of hurt, happiness, loneliness, coldness, hotness ?

A rush of emotional feelings running down your spine.

You don't know what's the right thing to do.

You don't know how you're supposed to feel.

All of a sudden, everything's so confusing.

And you just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm basically talking crap,

because i've been listening to this same, sad song repeatedly.

People say i think too much.

Well i do. But that doesn't mean all the things i just said aren't true.

This is all saddening. But we've got to face them all one day.

& well,

i've too much feelings.

And i can no longer cope with them all.

At some point, i just wish i stopped feeling.

Party rockers.

2011-06-04T20:50:00.000+08:00

Time of my life.

SO HELLO PEOPLE.
Just gonna update about the first week of my holidays.
Oh, it was nothing much.
Just four days & three nights sleepover at three different houses, & well.
A hand full of technology and fun. :)

First day, went to Mel's.
It was superb la. We got our hairs cut ! Heehee,
yes, i've got bangs. Suann did too, but she hated her's. :P
Then we played Maple & watched two movies.
Jennifer's body & BARBIE. HAHAHA.
And then at night, we were tumbling on each other & doing obscene stuff you don't have to know.
We slept at five something, in the morning. xD

The next day, we went to Mid valley !
We watched Fast & Furious Five with Thaqif, Willy, Tim, Andrew, Lavi, Aiman & Sam. :D
The movie was super duper awesome, OKAY !
Recommended. :D So we went back to my place.
AND THEN WE BUILT TENTS IN MY ROOM.
It turned out to be a mess but we had fun.
Then we watched a Korean movie called No mercy.
Super scary movie okay.
& then again, we slept at 5 something in the morning. & woke up at three in the afternoon. HAH !
Then we went swimming, and at night, went to Suann's. :)

At Suann's house,
we watched two movies.
Love actually, WHICH WAS LIKE, THE SWEETEST MOVIE EVER.
And another show which name i've forgotten but was a sad love story. Awh :'(
Then we slept at six in the morning.
Hahahaha.
The next day, we went to Suann's friend's house.
Jasmine's house. :D
We baked cakes & cupcakes.
It was quite awkward but our cupcakes turned out awesome & well, so it was an awesome day.

So we all had to go home, but something bad had to happen.
Mel's phone went boom. Now it's all scratched.
Poor thing la.
Hugs & kisses, Mel. <3

So, i suppose we all had a super good time.
& I CAN'T WAIT TO DO IT AGAIN, hahaha.
ps : this is all summarized, no time to go into details. & am too lazy to upload any pictures in Fcaebook.
pps : I got my Pumpkin ! :)))

Run for you life.

2011-05-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.

- Unknown.

Every one needs to feel appreciated.
Because life's tough.
& life is harder,
without any motivation.

Almost every day, we feel weak.
We feel intimidated.
& things gets worst.
We don't expect people to understand us.
But we hope that things would just be fine,
but no.

So whoever you may be.
Whatever you're going through.
You might be having a bad day, a good day.
Something bad might have happened, or something awesome has happened.

I just want you to know that you're beautiful. :)
You're beautiful,
not because of the things you've done or the things you're wearing.
But because you're God's creation.
That what makes you so beautiful.

So people say, it's the heart that counts.
But in the world that we live in now,
we all know that it's not true.
We determine a person's heart by how big of a gift they can offer.
But at times, deep down.
We just need to know that there is a heart behind it all.
Because nothing warms the soul more than a warm, welcoming heart. :)

So the next time you ask for something,
just ask for the heart.
& next time you want to give away something,
give away your heart.

Point at the most beautiful creature.

2011-05-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

How do you work things out, when it hurts to try.

My hair looks purple ! It's beyond cool.

Hello people ! Few things to mention. :)
Firstly, as you can see.
I changed my layout !
I hope it's alright.
There are still things to add but i'm too lazy. So yea.

Secondly,
Teacher's Day was yesterday.
But yet again, i'm too lazy to talk about it. xD
I guess it was okay la.
Not that much of a big deal.

Thirdly, about today. :)
I was volunteering as a GG member & helped gotong-royong in an orphanage home.
It was tiring, off course it was tiring.
So i'll just summarize the whole day into one short paragraph.
So i can't really let out much information about the orphanage due to certain reasons.
But like every other people, they're just children.
You can tell that some of them are actually really insecure, poor things.
So a few of my friends & i were in charge of the toddlers room.
It wasn't much, just cleaning.
& it was super duper tiring okay. D:
But i guess it was a good experience.

& lastly,
Happy holidays, everyone !

Maybe because it was meant to be.

2011-05-25T19:42:00.000+08:00

A hypocrite is a person who - but who isn't?

Don Marquis

Ah, sometimes i feel like such a hypocrite.

Even though i try hard not to be.

But no excuses, i still am.

& it sucks. :(

I like doing things according to what i feel there & then.

Not really thinking about what's the right thing to do & not thinking about the consequences.

~~But i'm just a teenager !~~

& it sucks even more because i know i shouldn't make up excuses.

~~But it's just so much easier to blame someone else.~~

Basically because, who likes to be at fault, right ?

I feel guilty sometimes, off course i do.

But i just want to be right.

Even though it's not the right thing to do.
Some people, when they know they're being hypocrites.
They just go like, ' i'll do what i want to do. '
& walk all over it.
But i can't do that.
I can't be rebellious even though i want to be.
I mean, off course i can.
At some point, i am one. A level one rebel. -.-
But i don't act all rebellious because i know i'll be judged by my actions.
& as tempting & easy being a rebel is.
I'm still sitting here, being a good girl.

& it sucks even more because,
i'm human & i have such big sinful desires. D:
It's tough, you know.
It's real tough.

The ability to love.

2011-05-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

You have it there. Somewhere in there.

Hello people ! :)

The exams are not over yet.

But for my class, we'll be having two extra days until the next exam.

It's supposed to be a good thing - more time to study.

But i think it just made us all so lazy.

Anyway, i've something to blog about today. :D

Have you ever been excited about something before ?

For a trip, to meet a certain person.

When you've finally solved a maths question that has been troubling you.

& then when you finally got the answer, you go like -

' YES, I GOT IT ! TEEHEHEHEHE. '

Well i don't know if it happens for you.

But it happens for me. :)
Getting excited over the silliest things.

Well today, i'm not getting excited over any silly thing.

I'm getting excited over God !

So anyway, it's been along time since i've been so excited about God.

Nothing particular had happened.

But nothing bad happened either - or so i can say.

It's just good to know that He has been there for me throughout the whole exams.

& i got to say, i don't feel that stressed because i had His calmness within me.

& whatever my results may end up being.

May all glory be onto Him. :)

Sometimes, we let all these business be in our ways to talk to God.

We tell ourselves that we'll talk to him after the exams, or later.

Often, we tend to get distracted, yes.

At times when we're stressed, we don't rely on God, but on people.

& at times, we blame God.

Why all these stress ? Yada, yada.

But i was going this scripture the other day & it really touched me. :)

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
^{⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,}
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.

Hebrews 12 : 5-6

At times, we wonder why.
Why we're put into the circumstances we are currently in.
But God has been doing all these for our own good.
& it's actually good to know that.

My primary teacher once told me that.
When we scold you, we care for you.
When we punish you, we love you.
I guess you can't take that literally.
But, it just warms the soul to know that God does this all out of love.
Just like a real father would.
:)

The picture below is for Justine ! :D

Somewhere in between.

2011-05-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

We're all fond of something. Usually, things we can never have.

At some point in life, we try to be something we're not.
Often, without us even realizing.
Deep inside, we always have an expectation. Not only on other people.
But ourselves.
Sometimes, we try too hard to meet our expectations,
not knowing that it actually hurts to try so hard.

At times, we do a certain thing to please certain people.
Straight A's for mom & dad. Be a goody good girl to make our family proud. Be a good friend. Be the person everyone likes.
& because we try so hard to be who others want us to be.
We lost our own self of worth. Our own identity.
What do we really like to do ?
What kind of a person i really am ?
People say, we tend to put different masks on. A different mask for every different situation. With our family, we're one person. With our friends, another.
We struggle to express our own feelings, because we don't even know where these feelings are coming from.

Have you ever asked yourself this question - Are you pretending to be someone you're not ?
Some people think about it & say yes.
But have you ever thought - who are you trying to be ?
Or have you asked, who am i ?

You might think this is me.
This is the real me.
But is it ?
Humans are very complex beings.
You don't have to blame yourself, or be mad at yourself for being somewhat lost.
Because in life, you're not supposed to find out who you are.
You're supposed to build who you are.

You're not supposed to sit there & wait for reality to hit you.
You're supposed to go discover yourself in this world.
It might take a while, yes.
But this is the purpose of your life,

to build who you are.

Tell me how.

2011-05-16T19:09:00.000+08:00

Tell me how anyone thinks under this condition now.

Why does every little thing hurt so much ?
& every breath brings chills to the heart.

God, save me. ;

All the wants in this world ;

2011-05-15T17:06:00.000+08:00

One of the many, to be finger licking good.

Somethings, sounds better in Chinese.
Like these two sentences below.

和喜欢的人在一起，
不是应该开心吗？
如果不开心，
又是什么意思呢？

& in English :

If you're with somebody you like,
shouldn't you be happy ?
& if you are not happy,
what does it prove ?

So yea, you tell me. Which one sounds better ? :)
But that got me thinking.
What does it actually mean when you're not happy ?

The truth behind the drunk.

2011-05-15T15:04:00.000+08:00

If only we can inhale happiness.

Being in a relationship means being in love, no ? So what is love ?
Love is a feeling. Being in a relationship is a commitment, a promise.

When you are with somebody. You only have two choices in your future.
One, is to get married. Two, is to break up.
If you believe that you like this girl & you want to be with her.
But you know, you know that she's not the one you'd want to marry.
Then what's the point ?
Have you ever even thought about spending the rest of your life with her,
or you just go with what you feel now, not thinking about the consequences ?
Or maybe you've thought about it, & yes, she might not be your dream girl, but she's perfect, she's better than your dream girl ? :)

It feels awesome to be in love. No doubt.
But do you know what real love is ? Have you experienced true love ?
& when you are really with her. She's the one, you're pretty sure.
But things would change. You would change, she would change.
After a while, feelings change.
& you can't cling on to the promise she has one made,
which is to love you forever.
Forever, is a long time. & somehow, time has it's ways to changing a person.
So are you sure, when you say forever ?
Because you might fall in love with this current her forever.
But what makes you think she won't change into someone you'll not love ?

So, being in love isn't as easy as it sounds.
Being in love & having someone by your side, wouldn't solve all the problems you're going through.
Yes, it'll feel good to know that there's someone is there to care for you & to share your sorrows.
But one day, she might end up being the one that causes all the pain.
Love comes with many consequences. One of them, heartache ?
& you should know that, to be in love, is to face heartache.
Because heart break is inevitable.
You cannot promise someone that nothing bad will happen when you're with them, but you can make sure that you're by their side when something bad happens.
So ask yourself, will your be by her side ?